#jan

Some vampires wouldn't react if you shoved a rosary down their pants, though I wouldn't recommend testing the theory. ↗

#jane-jameson #molly-harper #nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs #vampire #funny

I offered you a choice, and you took it." I shot him what I hoped was a truly scathing glare. "Some choice. I was dying. Some drunk shot me from a pickup. Why wouldn't I have just woken up with gonorrhea like every other girl of loose moral fiber? ↗

— Molly Harper

#funny #gabriel #gonorrhea #jane-jameson #molly-harper

I grabbed my purse, which was conveniently place by the front door. Gabriel was such a considerate abductor/host. He even left the front door unpadlocked. ↗

— Molly Harper

#gabriel #jane-jameson #molly-harper #nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs #funny

Don't worry about being nervous. A lot of vampires have trouble with this from time to time. It happens to everyone." "If I was a forty-year-old man suffering from erectile dysfunction, that would be a great comfort to me, thanks. ↗

— Molly Harper

#erectile-dysfunction #funny #jane-jameson #molly-harper #nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs

What are you doing?" "Ya!" said Jane, whirling around, her hands held up menacingly. It was Mr. Nobley with coat, hat, and cane, watching her with wide eyes. Jane took several quick (but oh so casual) steps away from Martin's window. "Um, did I just say, 'Ya'?" "You just said 'Ya,'" he confirmed. "If I am not mistaken, it was a battle cry, warning that you were about to attack me. I, uh..." She stopped to laugh. "I wasn't aware until this precise and awkward moment that when startled in a startled in a strange place, my instincts would have me pretend to be a ninja. ↗

— Shannon Hale

#jane #mr-nobley #ninja #humor

[I]t is well to have as many holds upon happiness as possible. ↗

— Jane Austen

#jane-austen-literature-humor #humor

I can see myself before myself— A being through dark scenery. ↗

— Dejan Stojanovic

#being #circling #dark #dark-scenery #dejan-stojanovic

All people are enslaved by something. ↗

— Dejan Stojanovic

#literature #literature-quotes #people #poetry #poetry-quotes

From whichever side I start, I think I am in an old place where others have been before me. ↗