#iv

Aside from fear itself, what do we have to fear? Well, perhaps anagrams of fear, like Ear F, the all-hearing being of the universe. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #universe #funny

As a salesman, it’s not enough to be able to sell a toilet to a man who’s got to pee. You’ve got to make him pay you for the privilege of pissing his pants. Don’t sell him a toilet. Don’t sell him pants. Sell him a privilege. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#privilege #salesman #sell #funny

Yeah,” said Harry. “No more pretending we care what happens when Jupiter and Uranus get too friendly . . .” “And from now on, I don’t care if my tea leaves spell die, Ron, die — I’m just chucking them in the bin where they belong. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#funny #harry-potter #o-w-l-s #ron-weasley #funny

Come live with us, Diana. Don't argue. Just say yes." Diana looked at the ground to hide her emotions. Then she said, "Would I have to be hearing you two going at it night and day? ↗

— Michael Grant

#come-live-with-us #diana #funny #gone #gone-series

Odd as this might sound, I suppose I’m glad you’re here, Jacob. [Edward Cullen] ↗

— Stephenie Meyer

#rivalry #friendship

Are there any other missing persons living under your roof? Elvis? Jimmy Hoffa? Amelia Earhart? I'd just like full disclosure now, before we go any further. ↗

— Maggie Stiefvater

#officer-koenig #shiver #funny

I used to be such a militant city-ist, but more and more I've seen forests and nature and oceans, and I don't know any more if this is the awesomest way to live. ↗

— Regina Spektor

#forests #i #know #live #militant

The creative act is not performed by the artist alone; the spectator brings the work in contact with the external world by deciphering and interpreting its inner qualifications and thus adds his contribution to the creative act. ↗

— Marcel Duchamp

#art #creative-process #creativity #art

Let every man shovel out his own snow, and the whole city will be passable," said Gamache. Seeing Beauvoir's puzzled expression he added, "Emerson." "Lake and Palmer?" "Ralph and Waldo. ↗

— Louise Penny

#funny #misattributed #neighborliness #ralph-waldo-emerson #snow

Funny that. We live in islands of Hours and we never seem to have time enough for anything... ↗

— Clive Barker

#absolute-midnight #clive-barker #time #wasted-time #funny