#ip

Sports bars are also a great place for guys to meet other guys--either for sex or for wrestling, whichever feels more right. ↗

— Eugene Mirman

#relationships #sports #humor

My love is expansive. Your love is expensive.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#expansive #expensive #funny #humor #life

No,” said Hermione shortly. “Have either of you seen my copy of Numerology and Gramatica?” “Oh, yeah, I borrowed it for a bit of bedtime reading,” said Ron, but very quietly. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#hermione-granger #humor #out-of-character #quips #ron-weasley

Sex can lead to nasty things like herpes, gonorrhea, and something called relationships. ↗

— Sacha Baron Cohen

#love #relationships #sex #humor

You should go into every relationship as a brick and not a blanket. ↗

— Nicole McKay

#brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #humor #random

Duty has a trick of behaving unexpectedly -- something like a heavy friend whom we have amiably asked to visit us, and who breaks his leg within our gates. ↗

— George Eliot

#humor #life #wisdom #friendship

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall take flack from both sides."- Unofficial UN Motto ↗

— Robert Lynn Asprin

#diplomacy #humor #motto #humor

either love me or leave me alone." — jay-z ↗

— Jay-Z

#humor

You want him praising the Lord in the morning, you put a smile on his face tonight. ↗

— Mark Gungor

#relationships #humor

I am sorry the only outlet for her troubled mind was in clumsy foreplay with an inadequate partner." He threw the rest of her sandwich at the swinging door as she passed through it. ↗

— Jennifer Armintrout

#insults #men-and-women #relationships #humor