#insult

Lepida, has anyone ever told you that you're a cruel spiteful selfish slut?...You're vicious. You're unprincipled. You mistreat your slaves and abuse your daughter. And furthermore you're the worst, most neglectful, most criminal wife in Rome. I think we can go now. ↗

— Kate Quinn

#comeback #funny #insult #kate-quinn #mistress-of-rome

I'll be supposed upon a book, his face is the worst thing about him. ↗

— William Shakespeare

#insult #pompey #funny

I've seen more intelligence in the crotch lice of harem whores. ↗

— Christopher Moore

#insult #humor

Captain Jibby looked at the door, clenched his teeth, and worked his face into a scowl so fierce you would think the door had insulted his mother - which, for the record, it had not. ↗

— Cuthbert Soup

#funny #insult #mother #funny

How now, my sweet creature of bombast! How long is't ago, Jack, since thou saw'st thien own knee? ↗

— William Shakespeare

#funny #insult #prince-hal #funny

If all the girls attending [the Yale prom] were laid end to end, I wouldn't be at all surprised. ↗

— Dorothy Parker

#harvard #humor #innuendo #naughty #yale

Smiling always seems to annoy people more than actually insulting them. Or maybe I just have an annoying smile. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#humorous #insulting #smiling #humor

Use a condom. The world doesn't need another you. ↗

— Carroll Bryant

#condoms #humorous-comebacks #insult #humor

Peter to Austin: "Hard-ons don't make you think less. They make you think stupid. Which makes me think you must have one 24/7. ↗

— Dani Alexander

#gay #glbt #humor #insults #mm

8:58 We go to McDonald's. The woman in front of me in line spends more than five seconds contemplating her order. This infuriates me, "WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?? MC-SEABASS?? IT'S THE GODDAMN MCDONALDS'S MENU, IT'S BEEN THE SAME FOR TEN YEARS! IT'S ALL MCSHIT!JUST ORDER! ↗

— Tucker Max

#insult #mcdonalds #humor