#insult

A member of Parliament to Disraeli: 'Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease.' That depends, Sir,' said Disraeli, 'whether I embrace your policies or your mistress. ↗

— Benjamin Disraeli

#retort #turnabout #insult

I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost like having you here. ↗

— Stephen Bishop

#insult

Don't die on me," she whispered when the clock struck midnight and he still had not moved. "It's only a little shoulder wound. Goddess, George-don't die on me." His eyes flickered open and he smiled. "I didn't know you cared," he whispered. "And why insult me? I won't die for a wee nick like this; I've had worse in my day." Alanna wiped her wet cheeks. "Of course I care, you unprincipled pickpocket!" she whispered. "Of course I care. ↗

— Tamora Pierce

#insult

Oh.” Timmie gave Bones a shy peek. “Are you Cathy’s brother?” “Whatever would give you the idea that I’m her damn brother?” Bones snapped. ↗

— Jeaniene Frost

#pissed #insult

His hands are off," Gabrielle pointed out. "Posture's wrong," Kat said. "He's still ... hot," Gabrielle said, as if it were the greatest insult in the world. "I feel so objectified. So ... cheap," Hale told them. ↗

— Ally Carter

#insult

He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up. ↗

— Paul Keating

#insult

As Hazel marched down the hill, she cursed in Latin. Percy didn’t understand all of it, but he got son of a gorgon, power-hungry snake, and a few choice suggestions about where Octavian could stick his knife. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#hazel-levesque #humor #insults #octavian #percy-jackson

how devastated I am to say that I will not be present at your petite soiree on June 10th. Unfortunately, the exceptionally weak drinks you ordinarily serve at these occasions are not sufficient to dull my senses to your boyfriend's futile efforts to grope me in the hallway. ↗

— Lady Arabella Snark

#insults #snark #humor

How now, my sweet creature of bombast! How long is't ago, Jack, since thou saw'st thien own knee? ↗

— William Shakespeare

#funny #insult #prince-hal #funny

If all the girls attending [the Yale prom] were laid end to end, I wouldn't be at all surprised. ↗

— Dorothy Parker

#harvard #humor #innuendo #naughty #yale