#humourous

Manicures: Which are basically just holding hands with a stranger for forty-five minutes whilst listening to Enya. ↗

— Miranda Hart

#humourous-situations #beauty

The person who sat the kid down on the breadboard to cut off thier diaper with a huge knife was the most elderly person in the family, who was blind in one eye..and had the shakes....of course the kids uncouncious, He's lost two pints of blood! ↗

— Eoin Colfer

#family

The trouble with eating Italian is that 5 or 6 days later, you're hungry again. ↗

— George Miller

#food #humourous #food

Let's chow, and then we'll get our books," Tony said. Just as the door was about to close behind us, he added, "You act like you've never had food before. ↗

— Rebecca Maizel

#food

That's part of your curse. To drive men mad with desire and feel no pleasure". "Great," I muttered. "And all this time I thought I was frigid. ↗

— Kristina Douglas

#men

They play like file clerks file. ↗

— Lauren Kessler

#life