#humourous

Do i look like a beautiful blond with big tits and an ass that tastes like French vanilla ice-cream? No. no, you don't. Then why are you telling me all this bullshit just so you can fuck me. ↗

— Quentin Tarantino

#beauty

His father cultivated art and self-realisation; his mother went in for simplicity and hygiene. Hence the child, during his tenderer years, was wholly unacquainted with any drink between the extremes of absinth and cocoa, of both of which he had a healthy dislike. ↗

— G.K. Chesterton

#humourous #art

He has big hands too, I say, swigging cider. I should know. Big beautiful hands. I daresay big feet as well. You mean that...? Philomena asks. Fanny whispers in her ear, and she giggles. I do find unclothed men interesting, I must admit. Which one do you think has the best arse? I ask before I can stop myself. ↗

— Janet Mullany

#beauty

Me? Oh, intellectually I believe in having a good heart, a chirpy penis, a lively intelligence, and the courage to say ‘shit!’ in front of a lady. ↗

— D.H. Lawrence

#courage

Yes. Because every family needs a laser for thier family jet. ↗

— Eoin Colfer

#family

Percy stormed over to the magical cooler. No one tried to stop him. He knocked open the lid and rummaged throught the ice. There had to be one. Please. He was rewarded with s silver-and-red can of soda. He brandished it at the dolphin warriors as if spraying them with bug repellent. "Behold!" Percy shouted. "The god's chosen beverage. Tremble before the horror of Diet Coke! ↗

— Rick Riordan

#humourous #percy #diet

Oh my god, two days ago I fell in love with the girl of my dreams. Tonight I find out she's insane ↗

— Jill Mansell

#dreams

Ah college years, those were the days. Pure freedom ... leaving home for the first time…the parties…” "What about the tutorials, the lectures, the large building with all the books called the ‘library’?” “Is that what those were?” Gerry blithely replied. ↗

— E.A. Bucchianeri

#college #colleges #funny #humor #humour

Fuck the pack. I gave them fifteen years of my life. I fought for them, bled for them, and the moment my back was turned, they attacked my wife. I owe them nothing. ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#humourous #protectiveness #life

We're famous" iggy whispered so low that Fang could barely hear him. "So's Swine Flu" Fang whispered back. ↗

— James Patterson

#humourous #illness #run-for-there-life #life