#humour

And I'm not saying it's a bad song, you know, or anything like that. All I'm saying is that if you get, I don't know, a broom, say, and dip it in some brake fluid, put the other end up my arse, stick me on a trampoline in a moving lift, and I would write a better song on the walls. That's all I'm saying. ↗

— Dylan Moran

#dylan #funk-soul-brother #humor #humour #moran

Charm is often despised but I can never see why. No one has it who isn't capable of genuinely liking others, at least at the actual moment of meeting and speaking. Charm is always genuine; it may be superficial but it isn't false. ↗

— P.D. James

#false #genuine #humor #humour #theo

When I was nine I spent a lot of my time reading books about the history of comedy, or listening to the Goons or Hancock, humour from previous generations. ↗

— Paul Merton

#books #comedy #generations #history #humour

If I let you go are you going to hit me again?” “What do you think?” “Then I’m not going to let you go. ↗

— Sarah Mayberry

#funny #humour #romance #funny

That's where humour lives for me. In the body. The Steve Martin kind of stuff or Jim Carrey, that's what I like. I've always felt that's what I would like to do. ↗

— Al Pacino

#body #carrey #felt #humour #i

All I could determine was that it must have been a nice thing to see if it was a house you were thinking about moving into. But not so nice if it was the house you were moving out from. I could practically hear Mr Collins, who had taught my fifth-grade English class and was still the most intimidating teacher I'd ever had, yelling at me. "Amy Curry," I could still hear him intoning, "never end a sentence with a preposition!" Irked that after six hears he was still mentally correcting me, I told the Mr. Collins in my head to off fuck. ↗

— Morgan Matson

#books #funny #humour #funny

Rhiannon's Law #16: If it looks like a rabbit, and it hops like a rabbit, run the other way and fast. That shit is liable to tear you arm off. ↗

— J.A. Saare

#funny #humor #humour #rabbit #funny

Sophie, honey, stop looking at me like that,” Garrett said gruffly. “You’ll have me convinced I’m going to die.” “You’re not? ↗

— Maya Banks

#humour #romance #romantic-suspense #funny

If you were anyone else, your nuts would be taking a long vacation, and the destination would be out of your mouth ↗

— J.A. Saare

#humor #humour #funny

She wore a loose bathrobe that covered up a body that would have won first prize in a beauty contest for cement blocks.....She had a voice that made pearl harbour sound like a lullaby. ↗

— Richard Brautigan

#hardboiled #humour #noir #beauty