#humour

Did you just seriously quote Grease? I think I'm gonna have to revoke your man card. ↗

— Elizabeth Sharp

#humour #humor

I love watching people's faces when i say i live with my daughter and Johnny Depp. ↗

— Diane Messidoro

#love

When you've been around as long as me, Lucy, you'll know that there are three types of sex... One - brand-new, kitchen-table sex. Two - bedroom sex. Then number three - hallway sex, when you pass each other in the hallway and say 'Fuck you.'" - Lockie ↗

— Kathy Lette

#relationships #sex #love

So asking you to take a moonlit walk with me, that would totally not work?" "What?" Again that glare. "Go away. Stop being an idiot. I don't even know you." "You're healing my little brother Bowie." "Yeah, that doesn't make us friends, kid." "So no moonlight." "Are you retarded?" "Sunrise? I could get up early." "Go away." "Sunset tomorrow?" -Sanjit & Lana ↗

— Michael Grant

#humour #lana #love #michael-grant #plague

I shall now explain my plan. You may then speak, but only to amend the detail. The broad outline is not subject to negotiation. Are you ready? Good … I propose to have sex with you. I believe it will be excellent sex. Your obedience on one particular issue of timing it will be required to make it unforgettable sex. I will explain that issue as we go. At the moment, I wish to hear your inevitable objection to the general sex part of this plan. ↗

— Nick Harkaway

#relationships #sex #obedience

You will be interested to hear, Hilary, that it [the drug] had a most remarkable effect — even on Selena after a very modest quantity. She cast off all conventional restraints and devoted herself without shame to the pleasure of the moment." I asked for particulars of this uncharacteristic conduct. "She took from her handbag a paperback edition of Pride and Prejudice and sat on the sofa reading it, declining all offers of conversation. ↗

— Sarah Caudwell

#humour #jane-austen #hilarious

I want a Zero Tolerance policy on All The Patriarchal Bullshit. ↗

— Caitlin Moran

#humour #feminism

Have you tried talking to her?" "No, we've been punching her repeatedly in the face instead. Why, do you think that won't work? ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#jace-wayland #sarcasm #simon-lewis #sarcasm

To be honest, my life has exhibited many strange and sometimes troubling characteristics, but shortness is not one of them. It feels like an eternity since I started school and a techno-social epoch since I moved to San Francisco. My phone couldn't even connect to the internet back then. ↗

— Robin Sloan

#technology #life

I'd said it before and meant it.Alive or undead,the love of my life was a bad ass. ↗

— Richelle Mead

#life