#humour

If the apocalypse comes...beep me! ↗

— Joss Whedon

#buffy-the-vampire-slayer #humour #snark #apocalypse

I know what kind of man it takes to get involved with something as barbarous as human trafficking.” “I get it, Swopes. He’s not the kind of man you take home to meet your stepmom.” I rethought that. “Wait a minute. Maybe my stepmom would like to meet him. Do you think he ships to Istanbul? ↗

— Darynda Jones

#human-rights

I asked my publisher what would happen if he sold all the copies of my book he'd printed. He said "I'll just print another ten. ↗

— Eric Sykes

#literature #literature-quotes

Optimism was for children. Once you reached adulthood then you had to join the rest of the world as a realist - life was a bag of shit you were expected to pay for. ↗

— N.C. Thomas

#pessimism #realism #life

It's only human nature for dogs to chase motorbikes ↗

— Peter Tinniswood

#nature

When I turn back to Jase, he’s again beaming at me. “You’re nice.” He sounds pleased, as if he hadn’t expected this aspect of my personality. ↗

— Huntley Fitzpatrick

#humour #romance #young-adult #young-adult-romance #funny

You set fire to my house, killed my family, and ate my dog. But steal my boyfriend? That's a step too far. ↗

— Libba Bray

#humor #humour #beauty

You mean that because I have no name I cannot die and that you cannot be held answerable for death even if you kill me?" "That is about the size of it," said the Sergeant. I felt so sad and so entirely disappointed that tears came into my eyes and a lump of incommunicable poignancy swelled tragically in my throat. I began to feel intensely every fragment of my equal humanity. The life that was bubbling at the end of my fingers was real and nearly painful in intensity and so was the beauty of my warm face and the loose humanity of my limbs and the racy health of my red rich blood. To leave it all without good reason and to smash the little empire into small fragments was a thing too pitiful even to refuse to think about. ↗

— Flann O'Brien

#humor #humour #beauty

It is hard for power to enjoy or incorporate humour and satire in its system of control. ↗

— Dario Fo

#enjoy #hard #humour #incorporate #power

Griffin Drake and his MacBook were the best of friends, more intimate than lovers. He slept with it. He cared for it with specially made cleaning cloths and cans of air to keep it dust free. Plants and fish had died under his watch with alarming regularity, but the computer-the computer was tended like a child. ↗

— Tere Michaels

#faith