#humour

There's a time and place for everything, and I believe it’s called 'fan fiction'. ↗

— Joss Whedon

#fanfiction #fantasy #humour #fantasy

If countries were named after the words you first hear when you go there, England would have to be called "Damn It". ↗

— Georg Christoph Lichtenberg

#humour #england

I should say we’d reach England by Tuesday or thereabouts, with a decent wind behind us. It would be a lot quicker than that if we could just sail straight there, but I was looking at the nautical charts, and there’s a dirty great sea serpent right in the middle of the ocean! It has a horrible gaping maw and one of those scaly tails that looks like it could snap a boat clean in two. So I thought it best to sail around that.’ FitzRoy frowned. ‘I think they just draw those on maps to add a bit of decoration. It doesn’t actually mean there’s a sea serpent there.’ The galley went rather quiet. A few of the pirate crew stared intently out of the portholes, embarrassed at their Captain’s mistake. But to everyone’s relief, instead of running somebody through, the Pirate Captain just narrowed his eyes thoughtfully. That explains a lot,’ he said. ‘I suppose it’s also why we’ve never glimpsed that giant compass in the corner of the Atlantic. I have to say, I’m a little disappointed. ↗

— Gideon Defoe

#nautical #england

Time is what keeps everything from happening at once. ↗

— Ray Cummings

#science #science

(Kaylee) Tell me I'm pretty, Wash. (Wash) Were I unwed I would take you in a manly fashion. (kaylee) Because I'm pretty? (Wash) Because you're pretty. ↗

— Brett Matthews

#firefly #humour #fashion

[on the success of Fifty Shades of Grey] "Just think how many books I could've sold if Harry had been a bit more creative with his wand. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#humour #interview #j-k-rowling #creativity

http://travelsofadam.com/2012/11/trav... Here are some quotes from my book and there are plenty more... ↗

— D.C. Gallin

#humour #inspirational #social-commentary #art

It's August, which means Congress is on recess and Mitch McConnell has shimmied back into the ocean to seek a mate. ↗

— Stephen Colbert

#mitch-mcconnell #politics #twitter #united-states #united-states-congress

...don't tell me I should only talk to people with a high influence score, or I'll Klout you... ↗

— John Geddes

#influence-score #klout #twitter-quotes #twitter

Well I won't argue about the matter. You always want to argue about things. That is exactly what things were originally made for. ↗

— Oscar Wilde

#originality