#humour

I asked my publisher what would happen if he sold all the copies of my book he'd printed. He said "I'll just print another ten. ↗

— Eric Sykes

#literature #literature-quotes

Right. Because if you have trouble putting ketchup and mustard on a hot dog, you should totally move on to saving lives. ↗

— Huntley Fitzpatrick

#humour #romance #young-adult #young-adult-romance #funny

A million possible endearments ran through his head. But he said, “Help. ↗

— Robyn Carr

#funny #humour #romance #funny

Torture?” she asked with a laugh. “My first piece of information I’ll divulge to you? I wouldn’t recommend trying to torture me. I dislike it and grow sulky under pincers. It’s a fault. ↗

— Kresley Cole

#humour #humor

Okay, guys. Stop it. Are you going to start peeing on me to mark your territory? ↗

— Maegan Lynn Moores

#humour #jealousy #men #humor

What would your shoes say about the things you do everyday? ↗

— Sherley Mondesir-Prescott

#children #children-s-books #humor #humour #illustrated-books

Anyone who thinks money can't buy happiness has never owned a cat [or any pet]. ↗

— Arya Riverdale

#life #pets #life

When majority is insane, sane must go to asylum. ↗

— Mark Twain

#humour #satire #satire

If the US is a human melting pot, then Eastern Europe is a scrap yard. ↗

— Péter Zilahy

#dark-humour #dictatorship #novel #dictatorship

You know what happens when windmills collapse into the sea? A splash. ↗

— Bill Maher

#environmental-disaster #environmentalism #humour #renewable-energy #environmentalism