#humour

Why do boys say someone acts like a girl as if it were an insult? ↗

— Tamora Pierce

#stereotypes #acting

I looked at the stained-glass image of the lamb in the window above me, but that only reminded me that lambs are famous for being led to slaughter, or sometimes hanging out with lions in ill-advised relationships. ↗

— Maureen Johnson

#funny #humor #humour #lambs #slaughter

Kaede: I know this, ungrateful dog. In order to find the sacred jewel shards, Kagome's spirtual power is essential. Yet ye made her upset with your words an sent her running home InuYasha: That was her idea! she chose to go home! She said: "I'm going home! You jerk!" Kaede: InuYasha, that imitation was pathetic. InuYasha: I'm a demon, not a comedian! ↗

— Rumiko Takahashi

#inuyasha #kaede #kagome #manga #dog

Everybody does have a book in them, but in most cases that's where it should stay. ↗

— Christopher Hitchens

#christopher-hitchens #humour #literature #writing #write

There's a time and place for everything, and I believe it’s called 'fan fiction'. ↗

— Joss Whedon

#fanfiction #fantasy #humour #fantasy

If countries were named after the words you first hear when you go there, England would have to be called "Damn It". ↗

— Georg Christoph Lichtenberg

#humour #england

I should say we’d reach England by Tuesday or thereabouts, with a decent wind behind us. It would be a lot quicker than that if we could just sail straight there, but I was looking at the nautical charts, and there’s a dirty great sea serpent right in the middle of the ocean! It has a horrible gaping maw and one of those scaly tails that looks like it could snap a boat clean in two. So I thought it best to sail around that.’ FitzRoy frowned. ‘I think they just draw those on maps to add a bit of decoration. It doesn’t actually mean there’s a sea serpent there.’ The galley went rather quiet. A few of the pirate crew stared intently out of the portholes, embarrassed at their Captain’s mistake. But to everyone’s relief, instead of running somebody through, the Pirate Captain just narrowed his eyes thoughtfully. That explains a lot,’ he said. ‘I suppose it’s also why we’ve never glimpsed that giant compass in the corner of the Atlantic. I have to say, I’m a little disappointed. ↗

— Gideon Defoe

#nautical #england

Time is what keeps everything from happening at once. ↗

— Ray Cummings

#science #science

If anyone else asked that question, O He Who Is Terrible and Great, I would have said they were an ignorant fool; in you it is a sign of the disarming simplicity which is the fount of all virtue. ↗

— Jonathan Stroud

#ignorance #ridiculous #sucking-up #simplicity

I'll be firm," I promised Patch, adopting a no-nonsense expression. "No backing down." By now Patch was full-on grinning. He kissed me again, and I felt my mouth soften its resolve. "You look cute when you're trying to be tough," he said. ↗

— Becca Fitzpatrick

#expression