#humour

Sophie did this?" He said, not for the first time. They were standing at the foot of Jessamine's bed. She lay flung upon it, her chest rising and falling slowly like the famous Sleeping Beauty waxwork or Madame du Barry. Her fair hair was scattered on the pillow, and a large, bloody welt ran across her forehead. Each of her wrists was tied to a post of the bed. "Our Sophie?" Tessa glanced over at Sophie, who was sitting in a chair by the door. Her head was down, and she was staring at her hands. She studiously avoided looking at Tessa or Will. "Yes,"Tessa said, "and do stop repeating it." " I think i may be in love with you, Sophie," said Will. "Marriage could be on the cards." Sophie whimpered. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#sophie #tessa-gray #will-herondale #beauty

Hey, now , enough of that.” Wyeth shook her again, gentler this time, then ducked his head and peered under the curtain of hair she was hiding behind. “Have faith in yourself, Saige. You can live your own life.” “But what if I make a right fine royal mess of it?” Wyeth chuckled . “That’s the beauty of it – you never know where your decisions are going to take you, but that’s the adventure of life. ↗

— Sonya Lano

#beauty

And the way you lost your temper!" went on Wallis enthusiastically. "Oh, Mr. Allan, it was beautiful! You haven't been more than to say snarly since the accident! It was so like the way you used to throw hair-brushes-- ↗

— Margaret Widdemer

#humour #recovery #temper #anger

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste. ↗

— David Bissonette

#love #love

If you neglected to warn Djetth beforehand that you were going to shoot him down, Your Highness, he may consider you in breach of contract... -- Rhett ↗

— Rowena Cherry

#fantasy #futuristic #humor #humour #romance

Don't talk for five minutes, there's a good chap! I've a strange feeling come over me--almost as if I were going to think! ↗

— Aleister Crowley

#humour #humor

I believe in love. Unfortunately, it doesn't believe me. Lust, on the other hand, is a nagging wife poking constantly at my DNA. ↗

— Carroll Bryant

#humorist #humorous-quotations #humourous #humor

It took Pueblo a few seconds to take in his surroundings. The first thing he realised was that he felt bruised all over; the second was that his clothes were waterlogged, even more than before, from the quicksand; and the third, was that he had landed on his front and was lying on a large, uncomfortable stone. No, wait… In his disoriented state, he shifted his weight. The stone didn't move. He was lying on his own fucking erection. ↗

— Dianna Hardy

#humor #humour #knocked-out #portals #pueblo

He punched me in the face," Ash said, who understandably did not seem to find the situation humorous at all. "And then he yelled at me for sleeping with our personal trainer!" "I was told breakup scenes were a good way to distract people," Jared said with beautiful simplicity. "Ash looked so surprised," Holly said. "He had no idea what was going on. He said, 'I didn't sleep with our personal trainer! We don't even have a personal trainer!'" Angela and Holly giggled. Ash held the back of his hand to his bleeding mouth and glared. Jared was still grinning like a maniac. "In that case," he told Ash solemnly, "I will consider taking you back. ↗

— Sarah Rees Brennan

#ash #break-ups #cousins #distractions #holly

Those pizzas I ate were for medicinal purposes. ↗

— Amy Neftzger

#humourous #pizza #humor