#humorous

Evolution is a theory with more holes than a Dutch dam of swiss cheese. ↗

— Eoin Colfer

#inspirational #humor

Looking out of the window at the infinite sky, I prayed out, 'Dear Baby Jesus, I am sorry for my sin, even though I do not know what they are, which seems a bit unfair if it is going to be held against me. But that is your way. And I am not questioning your wisdomosity. In future, however, would it be possible for my life to be not so entirely crap? Thank you. ↗

— Louise Rennison

#humor

I'm half good and I'm half bad. My mama is a very good girl and my daddy is a very bad boy. And I guess that leaves me somewhere sort of...here. ↗

— C. JoyBell C.

#bad-boys #good #good-and-evil #humor #humorous-quotations

Be generous with your smile and try not to frown. And you will see my children; your smile will never let you down ☺ ↗

— Benny Bellamacina

#education #educational #humorous #poetry #wisdom

Apollo wanted out. Out of Aphrodite, out of this bathroom, out of this house, and out of this life. ↗

— Marie Phillips

#life

If the pen is mightier than the sword, then what is the laptop? A light saber or a life saver? ↗

— K S Collier

#life

There were pecans, there were cashews and then there was just plain nuts. ↗

— Mary Hughes

#crazy #humor #humorous-quote #nuts #love

Hey!” Mena exclaimed “Don’t knock Jeopardy. I love that show” “So do I” Max admitted. “I like it when I know the answers.” Logan added. Trent turned to Logan, “Dude, if you hate the show, all you had to do was say so. ↗

— Amanda Kelly

#sarcastic-humor #love

Dean: If there is a greater power, why is it he can't get you a new sweater? Jamie: Because, he's too busy looking for your brain. ↗

— Nicholas Sparks

#business

Real men don't make salad ↗

— Pete Decker

#men