#humorous

Leo could run pretty fast when someone was trying to kill him. Sadly, he’d had a lot of practice. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#humor

face touchage" "lame-sauce" "Sulky McSulkerton ↗

— Rachel Hawkins

#humor

Never do anything that you don’t want to have to explain to 9-1-1 personnel. ↗

— Jill Shalvis

#humor

Daddy, What's the horizontal tango? ↗

— Simone Elkeles

#humor

I disliked numbers, and they didn't think much of me either. ↗

— R.J. Anderson

#numbers #humor

The thing I hate about an argument is that it always interrupts a discussion. ↗

— G.K. Chesterton

#truthful #humor

Oh good Lord. She definitely hadn't put on enough deodorant for this. ↗

— Jill Shalvis

#humor

Are you by any chance acquainted with the words 'steel toe'? Or do the words 'permanent dent' mean anything to you?" My locker door is not intimidated. "My grandfather was a vault at Fort Knox, and if you try to dent me with a kick you will only tear some ligament that will never mend. ↗

— David Klass

#humor

If anyone wanted ter find out some stuff, all they’d have ter do would be ter follow the spiders. That’d lead ‘em right! That’s all I’m sayin’. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#humorous-quotations #spiders #humor

I guess he believes if a lie is big enough and repeated often enough, it will be believed. ↗

— John McCain

#mccain-lies #political #humor