#humorous

What's with that?' Butters screamed, his voice high and frightened. 'Just covering his head with his arms? Didn't he see the lawyer in the movie? ↗

— Jim Butcher

#humor

I didn't feel strong. I felt like a big ball of wuss that wanted to curl up in my bed and never get out. ↗

— Diane Castle

#humorous #humour #humor

I wanted to write in Kitchenese, the secret language of cooks, instantly recognizable to anyone who has ever dunked french fries for a summer job or suffered under the despotic rule of a tyrannical chef or boobish owner. ↗

— Anthony Bourdain

#reality #humor

How hard can it be to find a girl and an elephant for Christ's sake? ↗

— Sara Gruen

#humor

Błogosławiony ten, co nie mając nic do powiedzenia, nie obleka tego faktu w słowa. ↗

— Julian Tuwim

#life #relationships #humor

When someone says "just saying" what they really mean is, "You would be a colossal idiot to not take my advice." (on Facebook) ↗

— Stephen Altrogge

#humor

My secret world of bosom sculpting is crashing down around me. I’m destined for bra-stuffing rehab in a distant boobicus minimus land. I just know it. ↗

— Amy Holder

#humor

Hat head is a sad affliction wherein the chosen hat and the selected hairstyle are grossly incompatible. The unfortunate combination results in a condition that can be hidden only with the application of another hat. ↗

— Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

#humor

For it was intelligence that was the thin line between endearing rapscallion and idiot bastard. - Éibhear the Contemptible ↗

— G.A. Aiken

#intelligence #humor

Talk about insanity. Being attracted to deVries was like a moth saying, "Hey, let's go check out that awesome bonfire". ↗

— Cherise Sinclair

#humor