#humorous

Shock and desire have my nerves tingling like I've been struck by horny lightning. ↗

— Nicole Christie

#humorous #humor

You are only limited by your own imagination ↗

— Benny Bellamacina

#humorous #inspirational #humor

Why in the name of God do you wear these ugly ass granny panties? I swear it looks like you could parachute from the Dallas Lincoln Plaza with these and have a nice soft landing! Why don’t you get on the internet and apply your online shopping skills while purchasing some panties that do not look like they came from your Grans drawer? ↗

— Kathryn Vance-Perez

#humorous #panties #friendship

Evolution is a theory with more holes than a Dutch dam of swiss cheese. ↗

— Eoin Colfer

#inspirational #humor

Looking out of the window at the infinite sky, I prayed out, 'Dear Baby Jesus, I am sorry for my sin, even though I do not know what they are, which seems a bit unfair if it is going to be held against me. But that is your way. And I am not questioning your wisdomosity. In future, however, would it be possible for my life to be not so entirely crap? Thank you. ↗

— Louise Rennison

#humor

I'm half good and I'm half bad. My mama is a very good girl and my daddy is a very bad boy. And I guess that leaves me somewhere sort of...here. ↗

— C. JoyBell C.

#bad-boys #good #good-and-evil #humor #humorous-quotations

Be generous with your smile and try not to frown. And you will see my children; your smile will never let you down ☺ ↗

— Benny Bellamacina

#education #educational #humorous #poetry #wisdom

A “good friend” was well…. Like your teeth. You had a limited number of them to last you an entire lifetime. You could survive without them, but having them made life much more enjoyable. If you didn’t take good care of them, you could lose them forever. ↗

— Rob Wood

#life

All the world's a stage, and most of us are desperately under-rehearsed. ↗

— Seán O'Casey

#humorous-look-at-life #life

There were pecans, there were cashews and then there was just plain nuts. ↗

— Mary Hughes

#crazy #humor #humorous-quote #nuts #love