#humorous

Didn't know you could measure distance so well with nothing but you bloody eyeballs ↗

— James Dashner

#humor

Chomsky is a pencil-and-paper theoretician who wouldn't know Jabba the Hutt from the Cookie Monster, ↗

— Steven Pinker

#humor #humorous-quotations #funny

I'd much rather be a woman than a man. Women can cry, they can wear cute clothes, and they are the first to be rescued off of sinking ships. ↗

— Gilda Radner

#women #humor

Humanity is a parade of fools, and I am at the front of it, twirling a baton. ↗

— Dean Koontz

#humor

Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional. ↗

— Carroll Bryant

#humorous #solemnity #humor

Obstinate, headstrong girl! ↗

— Jane Austen

#pride-and-prejudice #humor

Corrival looked around. 'So is this it? Is everyone here? Erskine, maybe you should start the ball rolling. I have places to go and things to do.' 'Me?' Ravel asked. 'Why do I have to start it? You're the most respected mage here. You start it, or Skulduggery.' Skulduggery shook his head. 'I can't start it. I don't like most of these people. I might start shooting. ↗

— Derek Landy

#gathering #grudges #humor #humorous #mages

I mingle with my peers or no one, and since I have no peers, I mingle with no one. ↗

— John Kennedy Toole

#ignatious-j-reilly #new-orleans #humor

‎I have panicked unnecessarily in all four corners of the globe. ↗

— Jon Ronson

#humorous #travel #humor

I find it rude to laugh at a man with a sword. ↗

— Derek Landy

#combat #duel #dueling #humor #humorous