#humorous

Don't beat yourself up," said Charlotte. "True love can be so easily mistaken for other things-friendship, humane concern, indigestion... ↗

— Shannon Hale

#love #friendship

Well, so you don't get too cocky, I myself often complete the TV Guide crossword puzzle." He puffed out his chest. "In pen. ↗

— Shelly Laurenston

#lol #putting-on-his-big-boy-pants #humor

Do you like him? Ty asked. "Not that I care." "I do," I said, because it was true. Even though it didn't matter anymore. "Not that I care you don't care. Though you clearly do care, and I don't care about that either." "Well, I don't care that you don't care that I don't care. In fact i'm glad. Because, um, if I were seeming someone that I liked, I'd want you to be happy for me.""Are you seeing someone?" I asked, pretty sure he wasn't. "Not that I care. ↗

— Sarah Rees Brennan

#humor

I'd like to thank my parents for making this night possible. And my children for making it necessary. ↗

— Victor Borge

#humor #humorous #victor #victor-borge #humor

Pink is supposed to weaken your enemies, make them go soft on you, which must be why it's used for baby girls. It's a wonder the military hasn't got on to this. ↗

— Margaret Atwood

#humor

Knowledge may be power, but half of what I know I wish I could forget. ↗

— Carroll Bryant

#comical #humor #humorist #humorous #philisophical

So here's my theory, and this is such crap science, I don't have to tell you. It's science without microscopes, blood tests, or reality. ↗

— Maggie Stiefvater

#humor

They put me in a holding cell with a black kid and a white kid and a Chinese kid. We're the United Nations of juvenile delinquents. ↗

— Sherman Alexie

#humor

Oh God, my stomach must have won a medal- it's doing a lap of honour now. ↗

— Ali McNamara

#love-story #humor

The joke was that President Bush only declared war when Starbucks was hit. You can mess with the U.N. all you want, but when you start interfering with the right to get caffeinated, someone has to pay. ↗

— Chris Kyle

#american #bush #caffeine #coffee #humor