#humorous

Ish #109 "If MapQuest says make a right, go straight. You'll get there quicker. ↗

— Regina Griffin

#funny-quotes #humor #humorous #tags-funny-and-random #funny

I don't need new boots I got bluchers back down home. Eff the effing bluchers I'll buy you new adjectival effing elastic sided boots. ↗

— Peter Carey

#profanity #home

The problem with at-home IQ tests is that too many people wouldn't understand the results. Calling customer service is a bad sign. ↗

— Iimani David

#humorous #home

It's better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than open it and remove all doubt ↗

— Mark Twain

#humor

There are some people who believe that home is where one hangs one's hat, but these people tend to live in closets and on little pegs. ↗

— Lemony Snicket

#humor

I dinnae get people, like they all want to be watched, to be seen, like all the time. They put up their pictures online and let people they dinnae like look at them! And people they’ve never met as well, and they all pretend tae be shinier than they are – and some are even posting on like four sites; their bosses are watching them at work, the cameras watch them on the bus, and on the train, and in Boots, and even outside the chip shop. Then even at home – they’re going online to look and see who they can watch, and to check who’s watching them! ↗

— Jenni Fagan

#humorous #internet #online #social-media #watching

On the morning in question, she wore white shorts and a pink T-shirt that featured a green dragon breathing a fire of orange glitter. It is difficult to explain how awesome I found this T-shirt at the time. ↗

— John Green

#papertowns #humor

Smiling always seems to annoy people more than actually insulting them. Or maybe I just have an annoying smile. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#humorous #insulting #smiling #humor

I just can't fathom why anyone would stand on a ledge when there's a respectable amount of walking space right next to it. ↗

— Stephanie Perkins

#humor

It's 4:58 on Friday afternoon. Do you know where your margarita is? ↗

— Amy Neftzger

#drinking #friday #humor #humorous #margarita