#humorous

You stick a bunch of drunken murderers together, ain't long before some turn to thieving, then to lying, then to bad language, and pretty soon to sobriety, raising families and making an honest living. ↗

— Joe Abercrombie

#satire #slippery-slope #family

This sucks the hind teat. ↗

— Patricia Grasso

#family

...food was at least three million per cent more delicious when you ate it immediately after thinking you were going to die. ↗

— Joshua Donellan

#humorous #humour #humourous #food

Forgive me....I called you an idiot. I spoke too hastily. You are not. Had I given it more thought, I would have called you a scoundrel. ↗

— Lloyd Alexander

#comebacks #funny #humor #humorous #silly

Famous people steal my quotes all of the time without knowing; none of it is ever very interesting though. ↗

— Robert DeCoteau

#celebrity #funny #humor #humorous #quotes

Webster said, ''Time them skeeters get done with that old man, his French blood will be all gone and he will speak American as good as we do. ↗

— Peter Matthiessen

#humorous #funny

When it comes to being famous, you’re usually the last to know, and the first to deny it. Unless you were already famous in your head. In which case, party on, Wayne! Party on, Garth! ↗

— Carroll Bryant

#funny-humor #humor #humorous #funny

My medication must be wearing off I'm starting to think my jokes are funny. ↗

— Stanley Victor Paskavich

#funny

I don't think the heavy stuff is gonna come down for quite a while!” ― Bill Murray character in Cadyshack ↗

— Mark Buff

#funny-humor #humor #humorous #funny

I guess the breakfast burritos are going to have some extra protein in the morning. ↗

— Jon S. Lewis

#humor #humorous #funny