#humorous

Ish #153 "Artificial plants grow best in artificial light. ↗

— Regina Griffin

#funny-quotes #humor #humorous #tags-funny-and-random #funny

Does breakfast in bed count as a morning workout? ↗

— Elizabeth Jane Howard

#humorous-quotations #humor

There is something called the rapture of the deep, and it refers to what happens when a deep-sea diver spends too much time at the bottom of the ocean and can't tell which way is up. When he surfaces, he's liable to have a condition called the bends, where the body can't adapt to the oxygen levels in the atmosphere. All of this happens to me when I surface from a great book. ↗

— Nora Ephron

#reading-books #humor

Not really a party until someone brings the surprise zombies. ↗

— Sarah Rees Brennan

#humor

I have a computer, a vibrator, and pizza delivery. Why should I leave the house? " - Tabitha ↗

— Sherrilyn Kenyon

#humorous #humor

Plans are invitation to disappointment. ↗

— Derek Landy

#humorous #plans #spontaneity #humor

It’s frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions. ↗

— Jill Shalvis

#humor

One afternoon, when I was four years old, my father came home, and he found me in the living room in front of a roaring fire, which made him very angry. Because we didn't have a fireplace. ↗

— Victor Borge

#fire #fireplace #funny #humor #humorous

Stop crying. You're giving archangels everywhere a bad name." Patch to Pepper ↗

— Becca Fitzpatrick

#patch-cipriano #humor

If it’s going to be two against one, make sure you aren’t the one. ↗

— Jill Shalvis

#humor