#humorous

How beautiful would history have been if it could be written beforehand and then acted out like drama! ↗

— Aihebholo-oria Okonoboh

#inspirational-life #beauty

Note to self-give serious thought to becoming an alcoholic. ↗

— Jill Shalvis

#humor

I jerk around and see Sister Dora, a portly woman who's the head cook in the kitchen, staring daggers at me. This is nothing new. She stares daggers at everyone who walks through the lunch line holding a tray, as though our needing sustenance is a personal affront. ↗

— Pittacus Lore

#humor

You've got better boobs," i acknowledged. And just as we'd done each time we'd had this boobs-versus-legs conversation, we looked down at our chests. Ogled. Compared. ↗

— Chloe Neill

#humor

If you had a piece of coal, we could hold her down, shove it up her ass, and come collect a big, fat diamond in a few days. ↗

— M. Leighton

#humor

I mean you ACRES of harm,' Dalrymple growled. 'Untold QUANTITIES of harm. I will visit a whole CONTINENT of harm upon you before we are through. ↗

— Derek Landy

#humorous #threats #what-the-hell #humor

As far as the Council is concerned, the U.S. Wardens are a bunch of mushrooms." "Eh?" "Kept in the dark and fed on bullshit. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#humor

There are all kinds of psychological disorders in the West that don't exist in Asia. ↗

— Amy Chua

#humor

I haven't devoured a soul in...What month is this? March? ↗

— Rick Riordan

#humor

Kope!” the other guy yeled. “What the frick?! You got some cheetah blood in you or what?”“Seriously!” insisted Blake. “How did you run so fast?” “I am African.” Without taking his eyes from mine, Kopano eased himself off me, and I sat up. ↗

— Wendy Higgins

#humor