#humorous

When life gives you lemons, put your lipstick on! ↗

— Dana Page

#life

A bug lies in quiet repose; when he passed no one knows. Did he suffer, was he pained? Before he died, was knowledge gained? Were all life’s pressures much too great.To put upon so small a weight? Although not one for pessimism, I think he died of journalism! ↗

— Nikhil Sharda

#journalism #life

If you don't have any feelings for Will Darcy, why are you blushing and fixing your hair? ↗

— Elizabeth Eulberg

#darcy #humorous #lizzie #humor

It was not that he was feckless, more that he had simply not been around the day they handed out feck. ↗

— Neil Gaiman

#humorous #wordplay #humor

seaweed brain ↗

— Rick Riordan

#humor

I just want you to know,' said the girl, coldly, 'that whoever you are and whatever you intend with me, I shall give you no aid of any kind, nor shall I assist you, and I shall do whatever is in my power to frustrate your plans and devices.' And then she added, with feeling, 'Idiot. ↗

— Neil Gaiman

#the-star #humor

Emma was doing something nice for Simon? Hell must be enjoying the snow day. ↗

— E.J. Stevens

#fiction #humorous #mystery #mystery-series #paranormal

It says 'Shadowhunters; looking better in black than the window of our enemies since 1234." [Jace] ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humor

I get no sense from his note at all,” said Will, bounding to his feet, “except that he can quote Tennyson’s lesser poetry. Sophie, how quickly can you have Tessa ready?” “Half an hour,” said Sophie, not looking up from the dress. “Meet me in the courtyard in half an hour, then,” said Will. “I’ll wake Cyril. And be prepared to swoon at my finery. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humor #humorous-quotations #will-herondale #humor

Hello, little girl," he said, which was only his first big mistake. "I'm sure you want to know all about hedgehogs, eh?" "I did this one last year," said Tiffany. The man looked closer, and his grin faded. "Oh, yes," he said. "I remember. You asked all those... little questions." "I would like a question answered today," said Tiffany. "Provided it's not one about how you get baby hedgehogs," said the man. "No," said Tiffany patiently. "It's about zoology." "Zoology, eh? That's a big word, isn't it." "No, actually it isn't," said Tiffany. "Patronizing is a big word. Zoology is really quite small. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#humor