#humor

Humor is reason gone mad. ↗

— Groucho Marx

#gone #mad #reason

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the heck she is. ↗

— Ellen DeGeneres

#exercise #family #grandmothers #grandparents #humor

Say 'provoking' again. Your mouth looks provocative when you do. ↗

— Becca Fitzpatrick

#humor #nephlim #romance #anger

How do you feel, Georgie?" whispered Mrs. Weasley. George's fingers groped for the side of his head. "Saintlike," he murmured. "What's wrong with him?" croaked Fred, looking terrified. "Is his mind affected?" "Saintlike," repeated George, opening his eyes and looking up at his brother. "You see...I'm HOLEY, Fred, geddit? ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#humor #death

I knew this would happen," Marla says. "You're such a flake. You love me. You ignore me. You save my life, then you cook my mother into soap. ↗

— Chuck Palahniuk

#humor #love #pages- #love

Holey? You have the the whole world of ear-related humor before you, you go for holey? ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#death

Sebastian just smiled. “I could hear your heart beating,” he said softly. “When you were watching me with Valentine. Did it bother you?” “That you seem to be dating my dad?” Jace shrugged. "You’re a little young for him, to be honest.” “What?” For the first time since Jace had met him, Sebastian seemed flabbergasted. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#jace-wayland #realization #sarcasm #sebastian #valentine-morgenstern

Death's got an Invisibility Cloak?" Harry interrupted again. "So he can sneak up on people," said Ron. "Sometimes he gets bored of running at them, flapping his arms and shrieking... ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#humor #sarcasm #death

It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#humor #life #death

Why are they all staring?" demanded Albus as he and Rose craned around to look at the other students. "Don’t let it worry you," said Ron. "It’s me. I’m extremely famous. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#fame #harry-potter #humor #ron-weasley #death