#humor

She closed her eyes. “Okay, here’s the thing. We have some chemistry,” she allowed. “Some? Or supernova?” “Supernova. But,” she said to his knowing grin. Good Lord, he needed to stop doing that. “I really did give up men.” “Forever?” “My gut says yes, but that might be PMS talking. Let’s just say I’m giving up men for a very long time.” “You going to try out women? ↗

— Jill Shalvis

#men

Hell, I’m practically an escort for my rich doctor clients. They call and I come running whispering sweet nothings in their ears and whipping out some of the best drugs money can buy. Matter of fact, we just got some meds in that makes Viagra look like chewable kiddie vitamins. One of my doctors told me when he came it was so good, he blacked out temporarily. Me and my boy toy are trying that one out tonight. ↗

— A.T. Hicks

#humor #over-the-top #sex-crazed #viagra #money

What odd chaps you painters are! You do anything in the world to gain a reputation. As soon as you have one, you seem to want to throw it away. It is silly of you, for there is only one thing in the world worse than begin talked about, and that is not being talked about. A portrait like this would set you far above all the young men in England, and make the old men jealous, if old men are ever capable of any emotion. ↗

— Oscar Wilde

#oscar-wilde #wilde #men

Maybe I should be a lawyer instead of a magical baker, Rose though. Lawyers' mistakes rarely result in old men climbing on top of towers and taking off their pants. ~Bliss ↗

— Kathryn Littlewood

#men

There is, perhaps, no more dangerous man in the world than the man with the sensibilities of an artist but without creative talent. With luck such men make wonderful theatrical impresarios and interior decorators, or else they become mass murderers or critics. ↗

— Dame Edna Everage

#critics #humor #interior-decorators #murderers #talent

I believe it was the novelist Robert Heinlein," Nicholas drawled, "who said that 'women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax, and get used to the idea'. ↗

— Janet Chapman

#nicholas #men

Men these days expect their wives to be as dazzling as their mistresses.” That's shocking," said the Major. "How on earth will they tell them apart? ↗

— Helen Simonson

#men

Poor boys are easier than middle-class or rich ones. Boys who've been busted are easier than boys who have not. Southern boys are easier than Northern boys. Marines are easier than Masturbation. ↗

— John Valentine

#glbt #humor #m-m-romance #marines #seduction

What are you after?" ... "Well," said Zaphod airily, "It's partly the curiosity, partly a sense of adventure, but mostly I think it's the fame and the money.... ↗

— Douglas Adams

#money

. . . in a fight between two men, their wives were not allowed to step in and grab the testicles of the opponent – not even for a joke. The offending hand would be cut off, which helped to ensure that it wouldn’t become a habit. ↗

— Wendy Bertsch

#men