#humor

I study men like I study books: I skim their midsections. ↗

— Bauvard

#character #funny #humor #weight #funny

Anyone who thinks impressions of old movie actors is funny absolutely cannot be trusted. I think it's like a law of nature. ↗

— Stephen King

#humor #movies #funny

I'm half italian" "Which half" asked Tessa "From the waist down ↗

— Pamela Clare

#funny

Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels. ↗

— Tim Vine

#humor #humor

He sure put things into words good. ↗

— S.E. Hinton

#irony #humor

She just dropped it and ran!! ↗

— Mercedes Lackey

#humor

I resisted the urge to pour mouthwash in my brain. ↗

— Devon Monk

#humor

In a museum in Havana, there are two skulls of Christopher Columbus, one when he was a boy and one when he was a man ↗

— Mark Twain

#humor

If your girlfriend is pressuring you to make a life-changing decision, tell her a single vote is hardly going to make a difference. ↗

— Bauvard

#humor #voting #change

I'm not saying he was, like, crying tears of man pain over the phone, but he sounded upset. ↗

— Hannah Harrington

#humor #humour #funny