#humor

What are American dry-goods? asked the duchess, raising her large hands in wonder and accentuating the verb. American novels, answered Lord Henry. ↗

— Oscar Wilde

#bad-reviews #books #humor #literary-criticism #novels

Come to think of it, an Aes Sedai would probably follow a man off a cliff, too, if only to explain to him - in detail - all the things he was doing incorrectly in the way he went about killing himself. ↗

— Robert Jordan

#women #humor

PS: I also note that you included the Stalker's Anthem, "Every Breath You Take." I do enjoy your sense of humor, but does Dr. Flynn know? ↗

— E.L. James

#christian-grey #humor

Fortunately, he'd found that most people were easy to locate at five thirty in the morning. . ↗

— Patricia Briggs

#charles-cornick #cry-wolf #humor #morning #wake-up

He sits next to me, careful to avoid my hair that's splayed out around my head like blood. A bullet to the forehead, boom, blond waves everywhere. ↗

— Lauren DeStefano

#humor

I'm pretty sure those're my balls you've found,” I said to the man searching my pants. “You gonna count 'em out now? Because I'll save you the trouble. There's two. ↗

— Nenia Campbell

#humor #michael #sarcasm #humor

If you want me you're going to have to come and get me. ↗

— Tiffanie DeBartolo

#humor #love #paul-hudson #humor

I do believe in shooting the messenger. You know why? Because it sends a message. ↗

— Damon Salvador

#vampire-diaries #humor

Who knows himself a braggart, let him fear this, for it will come to pass that every braggart shall be found an ass. ↗

— William Shakespeare

#ass #braggart #bragging #humility #humor

Why's it so sunny?" she repeated. Zooey observed her rather narrowly. "I bring the sun wherever I go, buddy," he said. ↗

— J.D. Salinger

#sun #humor