#humor

When push comes to shove, I’m going to figure out that this door needs to be pulled to be opened. 
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— Jarod Kintz

#door #figure #figure-out #funny #humor

A poem for Beth: Roses are red, Violets are blue, I didn’t know what love meant, until I looked it up in the dictionary.

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— Jarod Kintz

#funny #love #poem #poet #poetry

I just bought a small condo overlooking the water. The water is in a cup, one floor below my unit. 
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— Jarod Kintz

#cup #funny #humor #investment #life

I like a very dry wit, not the big kind of humor like Robin Williams. I don't think I'm capable of that. ↗

— Chris Cooper

#capable #dry #humor #i #kind

How can you ask me when i want to get married when you have yet to ask me if i will marry you? ↗

— Rochelle Alers

#humor #humor