#humor

I love to sleep. My astrological sign is the sloth. ↗

— Julie Schumacher

#love

Look, he isn’t even concerned.” I poured the tea. “He’s concerned, Mother. He just doesn’t panic, because he’s in charge and if he panics, everybody else will panic.” “I can jog around the room pretending to scream if you would like,” Jim offered. ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#don-t-panic #humor #jim #dreams

Are you still making that man sing? It must be love, dude ↗

— Con Riley

#love

Where am I getting the brain space to store these words? I'm hoping that maybe my mind has decided to clear out some old negative thoughts and sad memories and replace them with these shiny new words. ↗

— Elizabeth Gilbert

#love

Peace love and Hahaha! ↗

— Tennisdog

#love

Since you act as though God is dead, I wanted to join you in the mourning." The reply of Martin Luther's wife, in full funeral regalia, in trying to illustrate the folly of his depressed state. ↗

— Mark Driscoll

#faith #humor #faith

...You should make someone a wonderful husband." Even the tips of Jamie's ears were crimson now. But instead of retreating, he clenched his jaw and looked directly into her eyes. "I suppose I would," he said. "Are you interested? ↗

— Bruce Coville

#humor #lovers-quarrels #marriage #marriage

. . . there was little to choose between Jews and Catholics. The Jews had holidays that turned up out of the blue and the Catholics had children in much the same way. ↗

— Alan Bennett

#humor #jewish #marriage #marriage

Darlin’, the last time I walked into a mall was two presidents ago.” I stared at him in shock. Then I asked, “Is that even possible?” “I got a dick and I was single so, yeah, it’s possible. ↗

— Kristen Ashley

#men #dreams

I don't understand it. Why me?" "Is there ever an answer to that question when men are involved?" -Candace and Fallon, Chapter 12 ↗

— Roz Lee

#men