#humor

A brick could be used to dispel the very same lies that a blanket could be used to cover up. 
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A brick could be used to locate the precise coordinates of the Masons. Just follow the bricks—and follow the money. 
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

Haley and I would talk for hours about which member of 'N Sync we'd want to marry. After long deliberation, the answer was always J. C. Chasez. Joey Fatone's last name was going to be “Fat One” no matter how great he was, and even though they didn't know at their age that Lance Bass was gay outright, they sensed he'd make a better good friend and confidante. As for Justin Timberlake, well, JT was the coolest and hottest, but too flashy, so we couldn't trust him to be faithful. J. C. Chasez was the smart compromise. ↗

— Mindy Kaling

#humor #ideal-man #jc-chasez #jt #life

A brick could be used to revive the spiritual movement in America. But are we as a people willing to accept the unacceptable into our lives? Sadly, I’m afraid I’m crying at the answer, which I know to be unknowable. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

I was quite a looker in my time," she said. Was she reading his mind, or only being smart, to know she must be hideous? "Oh, had they invented time as long ago as that? ↗

— Gregory Maguire

#old-age #age

The longest 60 seconds in the world occur when someone says, “I’ll be there in a minute.”
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— Jarod Kintz

#humor #late #minute #time #waiting

Help yourself to a bottle of wine. They’re all empty.
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— Jarod Kintz

#hospitality #humor #wine #funny

Alan: "I had terrible stage fright." Sin: "I'm not familiar with the concept of 'stage fright.'" A: "It's pretty awful. You end up having to picture the entire audience in their underwear. Phyllis was in that audience, you know." S: "Why, Alan, I had no idea your tastes ran that way." A: "Phyllis is a very nice lady. And I do not consider her so much aged as matured, like a fine wine. But I still think you owe me an archery lesson. ↗

— Sarah Rees Brennan

#ya #age

So where does the name Adam's apple come from? Most people say that it is from the notion that this bump was caused by the forbidden fruit getting stuck in the throat of Adam in the Garden of Eden. There is a problem with this theory because some Hebrew scholars believe that the forbidden fruit was the pomegranate. The Koran claims that the forbidden fruit was a banana. So take your pick---Adam's apple, Adam's pomegranate, Adam's banana. Eve clearly chewed before swallowing. ↗

— Mark Leyner

#funny #humorous #irony #relationships #funny

A brick could be used as a deodorant deterrent. Just ask any stinky Congressman.
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny