#humor

I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. ↗

— Peter Ustinov

#hell #humor #humour #stereotypes #humor

I turned on Fox News and jumped when I saw that they had one of those things in their studio. "Are you people crazy?" I screamed at the television. "Get out of there. Somebody shoot it!" Then I realized I was watching Special Report and had mistaken Charles Krauthammer for a zombie. ↗

— Ian McClellan

#media #political #politics #satire #zombies

The spirits of the brain are directly connected to the testicles. This is why men who weary their imagination in books are less suitable for procreative functions... ↗

— Louis de la Forge

#books #humor #neurology #reading #sex

In an Anglo-Saxon thriller, the villain is generally punished, and the strong silent man generally wins the weak babbling girl, but there is no governmental law in Western countries to ban a story that does not comply with a fond tradition, so that we always hope that the wicked but romantic fellow will escape scot-free and the good but dull chap will be finally snubbed by the moody heroine. ↗

— Vladimir Nabokov

#humor

I hope that's a good thing,' I said, thinking he might say I reminded him of a film star- then we'd actually have something in common. I was hoping for Anne Hathaway or Julia Roberts, and not the obvious Vivien Leigh. Even Angelina Jolie would have done, though I'd never quite forgiven her for stealing Brad's heart. Talking of Brad, was Sean starting to resemble him too? No, he could never be a Brad, a Matthew McConaughey maybe at a push, but never a Brad Pitt. ↗

— Ali McNamara

#movies #love

I went to a homosexual high school. I graduated top in my class. I couldn't imagine being on the bottom.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #funny

That´s the problem with planning a late night supper after the opera, not only does the hero or the heroine die singing, but you end up famished after the last notes of the finale. ↗

— E.A. Bucchianeri

#funny #humor #humorous #humour #life

Sometimes, a word succeeds beyond the wildest dreams of its creators, like a virus sent into the world to infect common speech. ↗

— Jasper Fforde

#language #dreams

It is hard for one who has not had a similar experience to imagine the terror that still gripped Taeko and Mrs. Tamaki and Hiroshi, so intense a terror that afterwards it seemed almost funny. ↗

— Junichiro Tanizaki

#life #pain #terror #imagination

Evolutionarily speaking, there is seldom any mystery in why we seek the goals we seek — why, for example, people would rather make love with an attractive partner than get a slap on the belly with a wet fish. ↗

— Steven Pinker

#evolutionary-psychology #humor #humor