#humor

So I told the lady Biology and high school were useless crap, I was going to get a job, and I was never coming back to school. And I didn’t. Yeah, I sure showed them. ↗

— Diana Rowland

#death

Here," Myrnin said, his voice still gentle and low. "Amelie said you had to work. No one said you had to work alone." He picked up the next part and slotted it in, took the screwdriver from Claire's numbed fingers, and fastened it with a couple of deft, fast movements. "I'll be your hands." She wanted to cry, because it was so sweet, but it wouldn't do any good. ↗

— Rachel Caine

#funny #ghost-town #humor #morganville-vampires #myrnin

I want to be the Everyman and take an IQ test and get a perfect 100. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #iq-test #jarod-kintz #funny

I want to see an elephant hunt down a man for the sole purpose of collecting his teeth, while a chorus of typewriters sings songs that praises the bananas for their wisdom, leadership, and their high levels of potassium. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#bizarre #dada #funny #humor #hunt

Myrnin turned away to pick up his Ben Franklin spectacles, balanced them on his nose, and looked over them to say, "Don't do drugs. I feel I ought to say that. ↗

— Rachel Caine

#funny #ghost-town #humor #morganville-vampires #myrnin

If this was what Mikhail called opening the gate close to Zayvion’s body, I was going to kill a compass and a slide rule and send them through the gates of death to him. ↗

— Devon Monk

#death

She'd met Colin on a Monday. She'd kissed him on a Friday. Twelve years later. She sighed. It seemed fairly pathetic. ↗

— Julia Quinn

#humor #sarcasm #funny

The idealist hopes. The romantic sees doom. The postmodernist sees doom and hopes. ↗

— Bauvard

#humor #idealism #funny

Comedy is so hard to do, so it was very cool to do dead pan humor. ↗

— Brittany Daniel

#cool #dead #hard #humor #pan

I want someone who can keep me on my toes, has a good sense of humor and a good heart. ↗