#humor

So you see, you have nothing to be afraid of." Oh no, thought Otto, just squads of hired goons wandering around with experimental energy weapons. Nothing to be afraid of at all. ↗

— Mark Walden

#contessa #humor #otto #weapons #education

She described to us six lanes' worth of unadulterated fear, populated exclusively by motorists whose driving education had been paid for by the blood of pedestrians. ↗

— Jeff Deck

#houston #humor #change

Todos los esfuerzos--que no son pocos--hechos por el gobierno, en materia educativa, se diluyen en el mar de porquería de los medios de comunicación monopolizados por la iniciativa privada. ↗

— Rius

#humor #politics #education

Got it. You're fourteen. I'm proud you can count that high. It's a testament to the modern American education system. But I should probable point out that you're not the only one. I'm told you go to a school with a whole class of-get this-kids who are fourteen."- Ash ↗

— Sherrilyn Kenyon

#education

Hey there, Hallie, welcome to the next place we need a Deer Crossing sign.' I didn't know that deers could read.' They can in Cosgrove County. It's part of the No Deer Left Behind program. ↗

— Laura Pedersen

#humor #literacy #education

My profanity has a certain religious flavor that can only be learned through a lifetime of Catholic education. ↗

— Emma Chase

#education

I remember the very day, sometime during the first two weeks of my five-year amorous sojourn in Brutland, when I was made privy to one of the most arcane of their utterings. The time was ripe for that major epiphany, my initiation into the sacred knowledge—or should I say gnosis?—of that all-important, quintessentially Brutish slang term, the word that endless hours of scholastic education by renowned mentors, plus years of scrupulous scrutiny into scrofulous texts, had disappointingly failed to impart to me, leaving me with that deep sense of emptiness begotten by hemimathy; the time was finally ripe for me to be transported by the velvety feel of the unvoiced palato-alveolar fricative, the élan of the unpronounceable and masochistically hedonistic front open-rounded vowel, and, last but not least, the (admittedly short) ejaculatory quality of the voiced velar stop: all three of them combined together to form that miraculous lexical item, the word shag. ↗

— Spiros Doikas

#britain #british #english #humor #sex

You may need help or information from some nongovernmental organization, and the local person heading that NGO may be some West Coast, liberal-educated, no-leg-shaving, Birkenstock-wearing female uniform-hater. And you gotta deal with her. ↗

— Dick Couch

#education

Charles Lathrop Pack, president of the American Tree Association, told how Rogers gave him advice in handling an educational campaign in tree planting. 'Will Rogers told me,' said Pack, 'that I was on the wrong track in trying to educate people to the value of putting idle land to work growing trees. "Pack," he said, "you go down to Washington and get Congress to pass a law prohibiting tree planting and you'll have everybody doing it in a week. ↗

— P.J. O'Brien

#humor #trees #education

I just... I understand you might want to start dating more seriously, and that means dating someone from town. But if you're going to do that..." This time he took a long drink of coffee, and the mug was still at his lips when he said, "I like Daniel. He takes care of you." I blinked. "Oh my God. Did you really just say that? He takes care of me?" Dad flushed. "I didn't mean it like-" "Takes care of me? Did I go to sleep and wake up in the nineteenth century?" I looked down at my jeans and T-shirt. "Ack! I can't go to school like this. Where's my corset? My bonnet? ↗

— Kelley Armstrong

#humor #kelley-armstrong #the-gathering #dating