#hum

I used to watch 'The Waltons' and sob because my family was nothing like that. We had a cruel sense of humor in my family. ↗

— Paula Poundstone

#cruel #family #had #humor #i

Time, as is well known, sometimes flies like a bird and sometimes crawls like a worm, but human beings are generally particularly happy when they don't notice whether it's passing quickly or slowly. ↗

— Ivan Turgenev

#bird #flies #generally #happy #human

No sight that human eyes can look upon is more provocative of awe than is the night sky scattered thick with stars. ↗

— Llewelyn Powys

#eyes #human #look #more #night

..Instead of Ralston saying any number of wonderful things that could have been appropriate for the precise situation in which they had found themselves -from You are the most unparalleled female I have ever known, to How can I ever live without you now that I've found heaven in your arms, to I love you, Callie, more than I had ever dreamed to even Shall we have another go?- he'd gone and mucked it up by apologizing. ↗

— Sarah MacLean

#dreams

Look at your eyes. You've got bigger bags than Louis Vuitton. ↗

— Matt Dunn

#humorous #louis-vuitton #funny

People who wouldn't dream of drowning a puppy in a barrel full of water think nothing of killing a fish the same slow way. ↗

— Karen Traviss

#moral #wess-har #dreams

We cordially believe in the rights of property. We think that normally and in the long run the rights of humanity, coincide with the rights of property... But we feel that if in exceptional cases there is any conflict between the rights of property and the rights of man, then we must stand for the rights of man. ↗

— Theodore Roosevelt

#human-rights #property-rights #dreams

But the plans were on display…” “On display? I eventually had to go down to the cellar to find them.” “That’s the display department.” “With a flashlight.” “Ah, well, the lights had probably gone.” “So had the stairs.” “But look, you found the notice, didn’t you?” “Yes,” said Arthur, “yes I did. It was on display in the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying ‘Beware of the Leopard. ↗

— Douglas Adams

#bypass #demolition #house #humour #light

Inside every sane person there's a madman struggling to get out," said the shopkeeper. "That's what I've always thought. No one goes mad quicker than a totally sane person. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#sanity #light

In the morning a new man was behind the front desk. "And how did you enjoy your stay, Sir?" he asked smoothly. "It was singularly execrable," I replied. "Oh, excellent," he purred, taking my card "In fact, I would go so far as to say that the principal value of a stay in this establishment is that it is bound to make all subsequent service-related experiences seem, in comparison, refreshing." He made a deeply appreciative expression as if to say, "Praise indeed," and presnted my bill for signature. "Well, we hope you'll come again." "I would sooner have bowel surgery in the woods with a a stick." His expression wavered, then held there for a long moment. "Excellent," he said again, but without a great show of conviction. ↗

— Bill Bryson

#experience