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Read through the most famous quotes by topic #hum
Spiderman: You're going to have to do something about those children, Stark. Tony: What children? Spiderman: The annoying, ill-mannered ones. Tony: I need more. Spiderman: Bomb Boy and Solar Flare. Tony: I think you mean Cannonball and Sunspot. What did they do this time? Spiderman: We were in the kitchen and they decided to - rather rudely - confront me about eating the leftovers in the refrigerator. Tony: Was it your food? Spiderman: No. Tony: Was it theirs? Spiderman: Possibly. It was an honest mistake. My point - I think THE point - is I won't be spoken to that way by infants. Tony: Then don't eat their food. ↗
#food
I feel guilty looking at those "People of Walmart" photos you see on the Internet. It's not cool to make fun of pitiful people. You really think anyone who wasn't batshit crazy would walk out of the house in a camouflage mankini and a Confederate flag ball cap to go buy some new furnace filters? No, he's cray-cray. ↗
...that in spite of living in a mansion an American is not above wearing a pair of secondhand pants, bought for fifty cents. ↗
It's a long story. Want a refill?" "No, let's start the steak. Where's the button?" "Right here." "Well, push it." "Me? You offered to cook." "Ben Caxton, I will lie here and starve before I will get up to push a button six inches from your finger" "As you wish." He pressed the button. "But don't forget who cooked dinner. ↗
When my parents passed on, and we read their wills, we discovered something we didn’t at all expect, especially from our devoutly Catholic mother: they had both left instructions that their bodies be donated to science. We were bewildered and we were pissed. They wanted their cadavers to be used by medical students, they wanted their flesh to be cut into and their cancerous organs examined. We were breathless. They wanted no elaborate funerals, no expense incurred for such stuff – they hated wasting money or time on ceremony, on appearances. When they died there was little left – the house, the cars. And their bodies, and they gave those away. To offer them to strangers was disgusting, wrong, embarrassing. And selfish to us, their children, who would have to live with the thought of their cold weight sinking on silver tables, surrounded by students chewing gum and making jokes about the location of freckles. But then again: Nothing can be preserved. It’s all on the way out, from the second it appears, and whatever you have always has one eye on the exit, and so screw it. As hideous and uncouth as it is, we have to give it all away, our bodies, our secrets, our money, everything we know: All must be given away, given away every day, because to be human means: 1. To be good 2. To save nothing ↗
He was, after all, the ultimate rebel -- it takes a lot of cojones to stand up to Zeus. ↗
#myths #prometheus #zeus #humor
We need to talk to you," said Carrot. "Do you want a lawyer?" "No, I ate already." "You *eat* lawyers?" said Carrot. "Brick gave him an empty stare until sufficient brain had been mustered. "What d'y'call dem fings, dey kinda crumble when you eat dem?" he ventured. Carrot looked at Detritus and Angua, to see if there was going to be any help there. "*Could* be lawyers," he conceded. "Dey go soggy if you dips 'em in somfing," said Brick, as if undertaking a forensic examination. "More likely to be biscuits, then?" Carrot suggested. "Could be. Inna packet wi' all paper on. Yeah, bisuits. ↗
