#hum

A certain man once lost a diamond cuff-link in the wide blue sea, and twenty years later, on the exact day, a Friday apparently, he was eating a large fish - but there was no diamond inside. That’s what I like about coincidence. ↗

— Vladimir Nabokov

#humor #insightful #humor

Taking into account the public's regrettable lack of taste, it is incumbent upon you not to fit in. ↗

— Janeane Garofalo

#humor #individuality #taste #humor

I had a standing agreement with god. I'd agree to believe in him, barely, so long as he let me sleep in on Sundays. ↗

— Richelle Mead

#beliefs #god #humor #humor

‎You cannot correct an old person every time they say something offensive. You would never make it through Thanksgiving dinner! ↗

— Stephen Colbert

#humor #inappropriate-remarks #offensive-remarks #humor

There are all kinds of psychological disorders in the West that don't exist in Asia. ↗

— Amy Chua

#humor

Can we go to work now? Because we're about a minute away from breaking out the ice cream and talking about our feelings, and I don't think we can come back from that. ↗

— Jennifer Crusie

#humor

You're Giving me a...stick" MaryL to a very dangerious vampire ↗

— L.J. Smith

#humor #humor

I did not tell Fat this, but technically he had become a Buddha. It did not seem to me like a good idea to let him know. After all, if you are a Buddha you should be able to figure it out for yourself. ↗

— Philip K. Dick

#humor #self-awareness #spirituality #humor

We have souls. Sure we do. Otherwise we'd do bad things all the time. You know, like politicians. ↗

— MaryJanice Davidson

#humor

The safest place to be during an earthquake would be in a stationary store. ↗

— George Carlin

#humor #humor