#hum

Ordinary folk prefer familiar tastes - they'd sooner eat the same things all the time - but a gourmet would sample a fried park bench just to know how it tastes. ↗

— Walter Moers

#food #gourmets #humor #food

If economists could manage to get themselves thought of as humble, competent people on a level with dentists, that would be splendid. ↗

— John Maynard Keynes

#could #economists #get #humble #level

The bathroom door burst open, and Molly came trotting out. The left half of her body had been shaved almost down to the skin. The right half was as shaggy as before. John emerged after her, brushing a layer of dog hair off his clothes. John said, "Well, that's done... It was Molly's idea. She wants to look like two different dogs when she's coming and going. She thinks it will make it easier for her to steal food... That's one complicated dog, Dave. Have you started on the bomb? ↗

— David Wong

#humor #shaving #food

We survived for days on nothing but food and water. ↗

— W.C. Fields

#food

The food was so good that with each passing course, our conversation devolved further into fragmented celebrations of its deliciousness: 'I want this dragon carrot risotto to become a person so I can take it to Las Vegas and marry it. ↗

— John Green

#hazel-grace #humor #john-green #the-fault-in-our-stars #food

I met a guy who had an interesting job. He was a meat cutter, or a meat slicer, something like that. I probably butchered his job title.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#food #humor #interesting #job #meat

I wouldn’t want the guests at my birthday party confusing my celebration with the Oscars. That’s why I’m having the awards ceremony after we eat cake and I open my presents.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#awards-ceremony #birthday #cake #celebrate #celebration

Parsley is gharsley. ↗

— Ogden Nash

#humor #parsley #food

Amen,' I exclaim, accidentally spitting out a Raisinet. I pick up the chocolate with a Kleenex and stuff it in my purse. Ten bucks says a month from now I'll have forgotten about it and will finally have said heart attack when I assume a rat shat in there. ↗

— Jen Lancaster

#humor #food

Is it fair for the bears to come down to where humans live, looking for food? Is it fair for the Duke's soldiers to shoot at them? Is it fair for the bears to crush them with giant snowballs? Often, if you point out something that isn't fair, someone will reply, "Life isn't fair." What is to be done with such people? ↗

— Lemony Snicket

#food