#hum

The books he and his supporters wanted out of the schools, one of mine among them, were not pornographic, although he would have liked our audience to think so. (There is the word "motherfucker" one time in my Slaughterhouse-Five, as in "Get out of the road, you dumb motherfucker." Ever since that word was published, way back in 1969, children have been attempting to have intercourse with their mothers. When it will stop no one knows.) ↗

— Kurt Vonnegut

#death

Holy crap! Your story was so long I forgot the beginning! - Ichigo Kurosaki ↗

— Tite Kubo

#death

There are those who scoff at the schoolboy, calling him frivolous and shallow: Yet it was the schoolboy who said 'Faith is believing what you know ain't so'. ↗

— Mark Twain

#humor #wit #faith

Is the groom going to go where no man has gone before? ↗

— Sharyn McCrumb

#star-trek #death

You're a very difficult person to manipulate, you know." "Nonsense," he said. "You just have to promise me that I won't have to do a thing, and then I'll do anything you want." "Anything?" "Anything that doesn't require doing anything." "That's nothing, then." "Is it?" "Yes." "Well, that's something. ↗

— Brandon Sanderson

#humor

Did you ever, think when the hearse passes by, that someday in it you will lie? ↗

— Kelly Braffet

#humor #last-seen-leaving #death

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where’s the self-help section?' She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. ↗

— Steven Wright

#self-improvement #humor

I swear, my dear. Sometimes our conversations remind me of a broken sword." She raised an eyebrow. "Sharp as hell," Lightsong said, "but lacking a point. ↗

— Brandon Sanderson

#humor #humor

The price for using dark magic is death, so that goes a long way toward deterring users. ↗

— Devon Monk

#death

[Like they say,] small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it. ↗

— Dave Courtney

#death