#hum

You know, Ham," Breeze noted. "The only funny thing about your jokes is how often they lack any humor whatsoever. ↗

— Brandon Sanderson

#p- #funny

Writing is easy. You only need to stare at a blank piece of paper until drops of blood form on your forehead. ↗

— Gene Fowler

#humor

I have a high pain threshold. In fact, it's more of a large and tastfully decorated foyer than a threshold. But I do get easily bored ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humor #humor

Why do people say "grow some balls"? Balls are weak and sensitive. If you wanna be tough, grow a vagina. Those things can take a pounding. ↗

— Sheng Wang

#humor #misattributed-betty-white #humor

Nothing travels faster than the speed of light, with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special laws. ↗

— Douglas Adams

#novelist #science-fiction #humor

The trouble with being in the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat. ↗

— Lily Tomlin

#life #rat-race #humor

Meow” means “woof” in cat. ↗

— George Carlin

#cats #dogs #humor #language #humor

Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please. ↗

— Mark Twain

#humor

I really can't think about kissing when I've got a rebellion to incite. ↗

— Suzanne Collins

#rebellion #humor

I hope you're pleased with yourselves. We could all have been killed - or worse, expelled. Now if you don't mind, I'm going to bed. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#school #humor