#hum

Tis an ill cook that cannot lick his own fingers. ↗

— William Shakespeare

#humor #food

Throughout the years I have set up my own rules about eating food: Never eat anything you can't pronounce. Beware of food that is described as, "Some Americans say it tastes like chicken. ↗

— Erma Bombeck

#food

I work in a hotel. I know what you’re probably thinking, and no, I am not a hooker. Not unless you’re not a cop.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #hooker #hospitality #hospitality-industry #hotel

Now we're going to save a bunch of dirty meatsacks from a bunch of dirty cannibals? Why don't we rescue some orphaned kittens and put food out for stray puppies while we're at it? ↗

— Julie Kagawa

#jackal #food

There’s not a lot of food on the moon. Not unless you’re into cannibalism. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#food #funny #humor #moon #food

Mrs. Chandler shouted after us, "And I hope that was all-natural food coloring you put on my dog! ↗

— Lisa Lutz

#food

Its Batteries! I just know it! ↗

— Alison

#funny #humor #funny

Pain is the question mark turned like a fishhook in the human heart. ↗

— Peter De Vries

#human #human heart #like #mark #pain

Human history in essence is the history of ideas. ↗

— H. G. Wells

#history #human #human history #ideas #the history of

Join up the different aspects of yourself – sort of like a team. ↗

— Art Hochberg

#inspirational #art