#hum

Pegasus's dad was poseidon, the god of the sea, and his mom was Medusa, and evil Gorgon who had fangs and lizard skin and living snakes for hair. And you thought your family was weird. ↗

— Evan Kuhlman

#mythology #family

Sleep with family is a napkin (nap plus kin), and I used a napkin as a blanket.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

This sucks the hind teat. ↗

— Patricia Grasso

#family

That's the thing with Holy Moses: big as a house and scary as heck if you don't know him, but Charley Manson and his whole family could come parading through here and he'd give them you room key for a slice of sharp cheddar." --Ms. Fisher, The Last Stop ↗

— Kirt J Boyd

#humor #family

Waiting for a book to be published is like having a baby. It would be nine months before we heard the patter of tiny pages trotting through the letter box, and the bookcase shuffled it's shelves in boredom and I was a martyr to morning sickness. ↗

— Deric Longden

#humour #sadness #family

All human beings, as we meet them, are commingled out of good and evil. ↗

— Robert Louis Stevenson

#nature

I pee whilst seated. But it’s hard to focus with people honking at me.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #random #random-thought #silly

Scenery is fine -but human nature is finer ↗

— John Keats

#nature #scenery #nature

Haylee shook her head as soon as they were gone. “Christ, how can our family be mankind’s best hope? ↗

— Natasha Larry

#darwin-s-children #haylee-mitchell #humor #paranormal #ya

When may did so, he found every cup and saucer, plate, vase, and bowl standing arranged across the floor like pieces in a scaled-up chess game. "The Whitstable family tree," Bryant explained, entering and setting down his tea tray. "It's the only way I could get it sorted out in my head. I had to see them properly laid out, who was descended from whom." He pointed to a milk jug. "Daisy Whitstable is bottom left-hand corner, by the fireguard. Next to her is the egg cup, brother Tarquin... Now, pass me Marion and Alfred Whitstable over there." "What's their significance?" "We need them to drink out of. ↗

— Christopher Fowler

#tea #family