#hips

Today, unless women gain jobs and athletic scholarships commensurate with their percentage of the population, feminists scream discrimination. ↗

— Marvin Olasky

#commensurate #discrimination #feminists #gain #jobs

I had a dream about you. You had just died, and I was debating putting your body into either a coffin or a shoebox. My decision was based solely on spatial concerns, so I chose the ashtray, because I thought it best to smoke your essence like a cigarette. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

I'm not the best audience for that because I'm not a great science-fiction fan. I just never got off on space ships and space costumes, things like that. ↗

— Gary Oldman

#because #best #costumes #fan #got

I had a dream about you. You were you, but you were many—a multitude of mannequins, each named Manny. And I was me, but I was Dark Jar Tin Zoo, and as such I made love to you—all of you. Then I woke up alone, naked, cuddling a mannequin I named after you who smells like you, because I spray it with the same fragrance you used to wear. Is that crazy? No, I didn’t think so either. 
 ↗

— Dora J. Arod

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

I had a dream about you. We were traveling in your car. You were driving, and I was securely fastened by ropes and duct tape in the trunk. I tried telling you my family has no money, but you had to find out the hard way.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

I had a dream about you. You were a lone candle on a barren vanilla cake, and I was the mighty breath sent to extinguish your light. I felt like God’s wrath coming down to destroy the Illuminati, while you probably thought I was the Satan coming to snuff out the light of the world. And the spectators who were gathered around the spectacle probably thought it was all one big party, as they stood still like mindless zombies singing “Happy Birthday.”
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

China is a major power in the Pacific and I think we are dealing with some common threats in that region: the whole issue of Korea and the stability of Korea, the whole issue of nuclear proliferation, the whole issue of providing free access to our ships that are operating in that area. ↗

— Leon Panetta

#area #china #common #dealing #free

If Greece had gone through a very normal political life, I may have not been in politics. But just the fact that I lived through huge upheavals and very difficult struggles and polarisation and the barbarism of dictatorships - that made me feel that we had to change this country. ↗

— Georgios A. Papandreou

#been #change #country #dictatorships #difficult

No matter how much you've won, no matter how many games, no matter how many championships, no matter how many Super Bowls, you're not winning now, so you stink. ↗

— Bill Parcells

#championships #games #how #many #matter

I had a dream about you. You were a floating blue blob, and I was a painter in a spacesuit floating through the cosmos trying to catch you and imprison you in my painting. I really need to dream more, because that sounds too much like Tuesday nights at Albino Al’s to be considered fantasy. 
 ↗

— Dora J. Arod

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships