#hilarious

Just giving Jenny a last minute pep talk before the race," Drew informs him. "There's no need for that, Claire is going to kick everyone's ass." Carter says. Drew laughs and shakes his head. "Oh that's hilarious, limp dick! I know for a fact that Jenny will be the victor." "The Victor? Who's Victor? Is that like some vibrator champion or something? Is the race named after this Victor guy?" Claire pats my shoulder and just smiles at me. I guess she already knows about Victor. I'm always the last to know everything. ↗

— Tara Sivec

#jenny #vibrator-race #hilarious

Huh," said Percy. "Never seen Jason fly before. He looks like a blond superman. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#so-percy #hilarious

He always believed that people live up or down to the amount of trust you put in them. ↗

— Hilary Duff

#people #trust #hilarious

so the story goes but theres something you should know before i walk away and i blow the ending i never want to be without you oh no here i go now you know what i feel about you theres no running must have been wrong to doubt you oh there i go no control and i'm fallen so now you know ↗

— Hilary Duff

#hilary-duff #now-you-know #hilarious

Today, salute, mile, serve, deep. And I am never doing that again.-Kavi ↗

— Hilari Bell

#hilari-bell #kavi #hilarious

Having to talk to people was the one thing, but soliciting conversation was something else. If I acted squirmy or didn't make eye contact, they would want to know what was wrong, and I would have to say, Nothing, since nothing really was wrong. Nothing is an easy thing to feel but a difficult thing to express ↗

— Hilary Thayer Hamann

#evie #hamann #interaction #hilarious

I was like, 'Dude, make me look bad. Please. I want to look ugly. I want to wear orange pants. ↗

— Evanescence

#hilarious

The point is, if we find out you’ve been horrible to Harry —” “— and make no mistake, we’ll hear about it. “even if you won’t let Harry use the fellytone —” “Telephone ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#dursley #hilarious #lupin #tonks #hilarious

There's a time I can recall Four years old and three feet tall Trying to touch the stars and the cookie jar And both were out of reach ↗

— Hilary Weeks

#reaching #hilarious

Delores is a gorgeous name, for a gorgeous girl. Plus, it rhymes with clitoris...and I really know my way around them. Big fan. ↗

— Emma Chase

#pick-up-line #hilarious