#hilarious

There are only so many hilarious actors so when they cross-pollinate, people assume it's always the same actors and directors. ↗

— Judd Apatow

#assume #directors #hilarious #many #only

In black neighborhoods, everybody appreciated comedy about real life. In the white community, fantasy was funnier. I started looking for the jokes that were equally hilarious across the board, for totally different reasons. ↗

— Will Smith

#across #appreciated #black #board #comedy

Tommy Lee Jones is hilarious. I would say, if you look at the body of his work, the character he is most like is the one in 'The Fugitive.' That's how he talks and jokes. That is the type of energy he has. ↗

— Will Smith

#character #energy #fugitive #hilarious #his

An artist who painted a face was now 'playing with the idea of portraiture,' or 'exploring push-pull aesthetics,' or toying with contradictions like 'menacing-slash-playful,' but he or she was never, ever, just painting a face. ↗

— Steve Martin

#hilarious-nerd #art

Oh, how I longed to burst through the doors and go walking through the streets, with my hands open, like weapons! ↗

— Marcel Béalu

#hilarious #revenge #silly #experience

Forgive me. I continue to underestimate the breadth of your ignorance. ↗

— Ransom Riggs

#forgiveness

Actually, I wouldn't mind a Malibu and coke." "You're having a fucking pint." "Is my choice of drink too gay for you?" "Malibu and coke is a pussy drink. Last I heard you were strictly anti-pussy. ↗

— L.A. Gilbert

#hilariousness #non-p-c #funny

Tex's head snapped in my direction. Fuckin' A, woman, you've never had a s'more? he boomed I shook my head. Christ, everyone's gotta have a s'more before they die. Fuck that shit, I'll build a fire in my backyard tonight and I'll stop by Kumar's on the way home to get the stuff. Everyone can come by- ↗

— Kristen Ashley

#hector #hilarious #regret #rock-chick #sadie

I am also very proud to be a liberal. Why is that so terrible these days? The liberals were liberatorsthey fought slavery, fought for women to have the right to vote, fought against Hitler, Stalin, fought to end segregation, fought to end apartheid. Liberals put an end to child labor and they gave us the five day work week! What's to be ashamed of? ↗

— Barbra Streisand

#slavery

Where's your car? Miles asks, glancing at him as he slams his door shut and slings his backpack over his shoulder. "And whats up with your hand?" "I got rid of it," Damen says, gaze fixed on mine. Then glancing at Miles and seeing his expression he adds, "The car, not the hand." "Did you trade it in?" I ask, but only because Miles is listening. [...] He shakes his head and walks me to the gate, smiling as he says, "No, I just dropped off on the side of the road, key in the ignition, engine running." "Excuse me?!" Miles yelps. "You mean to tell me that you left your shiny, black, BMW M6 Coupe—by the side of the road?" Damen nods. But thats a hundred-thousand-dollar car!" Miles gasps as his face turns bright red. "A hundreds and ten." Damen laughs. "Don't forget, it was fully customized and loaded with options." Miles stares at him, eyes practically bugging out of his head, unable to comprehend how anyone could do such a thing—why anyone would do such a thing. "Um, okay, so let me get this straight—you just woke up and decided—Hey, what the hell? I think I'll just dump my ridiculously expensive luxury car by the side of the road—WHERE JUST ANYONE CAN TAKE IT?" Damen shrugs. "Pretty much." "Because in case you haven't noticed," Miles says, practically hyperventilating now. "Some of us are a little car deprived. Some of us were born with parents so cruel and unusual they're forced to rely on the kindness of friends for the rest of their lives!" "Sorry." Damen shrugs. "Guess I hadn't thought about that. Though if it makes you feel any better, it was all for a very good cause. ↗

— Alyson Noel

#parenting