#hilarious

No," Nathan grumbled. "Like, not piss on him, just all around him." Stuart raised an eyebrow. "Nath, you need to chill. We're in a bar, a busy bar. We can't stop people talking to each other." "I know but-" "Look, don't worry about it," Stuart insisted. "Try not to turn into a bunny boiler just yet. ↗

— Melanie Tushmore

#jealousy #business

You’d throw yourself in front of a bus for me.” She would and he knew it.He knew it and she knew that he felt that knowledge burrow deep and he liked it. Elle felt tears stinging the backs of her eyes, her body melted into his,her arms tightened around him and she whispered back, “Yes,Pren,though I hope I never get the chance. ↗

— Kristen Ashley

#hilarious #love #love

I want to be a naughty pirate, because when I put on that eye patch, it barely covers my genitals. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #genitals #hilarious #humor #naughty

When you're surrounded by friends and exes, there's a whole lot of stuff that starts crawling out. But however serious and traumatic those experiences may be to the participant, to the onlooker they're hilarious. ↗

— Steven Moffat

#experiences #friends #hilarious #however #lot

Girls are always complaining that they can never meet a nice guy. Nice guys are everywhere. The problem isn’t that there aren't any nice guys, the problem is that all of the nice guys are ugly. ↗

— Carroll Bryant

#funny-as-hell #funny-but-sad #funny-but-true #funny-humor #hilarious

What were you thinking?" I demanded once we were moving to the music. I was trying to ignore his hands. "Do you know how much trouble you may have gotten me in?" Adrian grinned. "Nah. They all feel bad for you. You'll achieve martyrdom after dancing with a mean, wicked vampire. Job security with the Alchemists. ↗

— Richelle Mead

#funny #hilarious #indigo-spell #romance #sydney-sage

Normal people with normal problems can be hilarious. ↗

— Tommy Lee Jones

#normal #normal people #people #problems

Michael Buble is seriously my favorite entertainer. Have you ever seen the guy in concert? He's hilarious. Women love him. Guys want to meet him. He has everything that I wish I could do onstage. And I'm guessin' he's a good-lookin' guy - although he's not one of 'People' magazine's sexiest men. ↗

— Blake Shelton

#concert #could #entertainer #ever #everything

Why not try thinking of your life as hilarious rather than nightmarish? ↗

— Julia Sweeney

#life #rather #than #thinking #try

In the beginning, I would find a character I understood. That was my focus. Not now - but you basically get offered the exact same thing you just did. Which I find hilarious. I did 'The Vow,' and then I had every love story you can imagine thrown at me. And now I'm getting offers for comedies. ↗

— Channing Tatum

#beginning #character #comedies #did #every