#heating

I’m not even sure I’m going to see that Colin Farrell wanna-be again.” “What happened?” “Walked in on him and the bartender in the bathroom last night at Lotus. Usually, that wouldn’t bother me, but the bartender had a mullet. Can you imagine, a mullet in 2012? So sad, Travis obviously has tragically bad taste. ↗

— Tamara Larson

#humor #imagination

Naturally, I do blame Françoise. I blame her for having N in the first place. She was young, she was beautiful, she was married to a doctor, and she was intelligent. She could have abstained from producing her first son. It was wrong on a variety of levels. ↗

— Suzanne Finnamore

#cheating #deception #divorce #infidelity #marriage

I always wondered if you clone your wife and have the cloned wife on the moon and the real wife down here, would that be considered cheating? ↗

— Luis Guzman

#cheating #clone #cloned #considered #down

Well, when I think of steroids I think of an image. You have the advantage over someone, which is a form of cheating. I guess it wouldn't be right unless it was legal for everybody. Reason it's not legal for everybody is because it can hurt people seriously. ↗

— Evander Holyfield

#because #cheating #everybody #form #guess

Unseen in the background, Fate was quietly slipping lead into the boxing-glove. ↗

— P.G. Wodehouse

#fate #humor #misfortune #top- #humor

Nobody got me out," Nellie replied. "They just let me go. They think I'm a deranged Jonah Wizard fan. Apparently, the hotel's full of them. A couple of idiots actually jumped off the front balcony. Can you picture that?" "In Technicolor," Amy said bitterly. "That low-down KGB reject!" Dan fumed. "I can't believe she cheated me–right when I was in the middle of cheating her! ↗

— Gordon Korman

#humor #jonah-wizard #nellie-gomez #the #humor

livid, adj. Fuck You for cheating on me. Fuck you for reducing it to the word cheating. As if this were a card game, and you sneaked a look at my hand. Who came up with the term cheating, anyway? A cheater, I imagine. Someone who thought liar was too harsh. Someone who thought devastator was too emotional. The same person who thought, oops, he’d gotten caught with his hand in the cookie jar. Fuck you. This isn’t about slipping yourself an extra twenty dollars of Monopoly money. These are our lives. You went and broke our lives. You are so much worse than a cheater. You killed something. And you killed it when its back was turned. ↗

— David Levithan

#hate #infidelity #love #imagination

This is much easier than when N left. Our son is unable to grasp and simultaneously turn doorknobs yet. If only this trick could be unlearned by men over thirty, many more families would celebrate Christmas together. ↗

— Suzanne Finnamore

#divorce #husband #infidelity #marriage #seperation

Heartbreak is good fuel for country songs. And cheating. ↗

— Miranda Lambert

#country #fuel #good #heartbreak #songs

And then Dick called and said, I'm going to do a special called Dick Van Dyke and the other woman, that would be you, because every time I try to check into a hotel with my wife, they look at me as though I'm cheating on Laura. ↗

— Mary Tyler Moore

#called #cheating #check #dick van dyke #dyke