#he

I say, thirteen is too many dogs for good mental health. Five is pretty much the limit. More than five dogs and you forfeit your right to call yourself entirely sane. Even if the dogs are small. ↗

— E. Lockhart

#humor #psychotherapy #sanity #humor

It's only through sheer force and luck that she's yet to take over the world. ↗

— Julia Quinn

#her #humor #takeover #women #world

People are sheep. TV is the shepherd. ↗

— Jess C. Scott

#entertainment #herd-mentality #humor #hype #mainstream-media

Your Excellency, I have no need of this hypothesis. ↗

— Pierre Laplace

#atheist #god #humor #mathematics #napoleon

My dad told me that when I was born my cheeks were so fat the doctors didn't know which end to spank. ↗

— Sean Covey

#humor #humor

Hexen stehen immer zwischen Birken ↗

— Walter Moers

#horror #humor #humor

LADY BRACKNELL Algernon is an extremely, I may almost say an ostentatiously, eligible young man. He has nothing, but he looks everything. What more can one desire? ↗

— Oscar Wilde

#humor #humor

Smartass Disciple: Master, do you really believe in the second chance? Master of Stupidity: That supports the basis of lost-then-found concept. ↗

— Toba Beta

#humor #lost-then-found #philosophy #second-chance #humor

The best thing about my faerie godmother is that the creepy just keeps on coming. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#humor #leanansidhe #humor

...I just pulled a pretty big job and needed to hide out for awhile." "...Where's all the loot?" "That, as my cousin Nord would say, is where my improvised lie falls apart." Artemis put two and two together and arrived at a very unpleasant four. "You were here to rob me!" "No, I wasn't. How dare you?! ↗

— Eoin Colfer

#humor #mulch #theif #humor