#harry

Rest. Heal. Sleep. I shall most likely kill you on the morrow.” “You? A Princess Bride quote?” I croaked. “What is that?” she asked. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#harry-dresden #humor #princess-bride #humor

Where instinct fails, intellect must venture. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#instinct #intellect #intellect

Vanity, thy name is vampire. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#thomas-raith #vampires #vanity #vanity

Scrimgeour: "It's time you learned some respect!" Harry: "It's time you earned it. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#defiance #harry-potter #scrimgeour #anger

But if it matters to you, you'll be able to choose Gryffindor over Slytherin. The Sorting Hat takes your choice into account." "Really?" "It did for me," said Harry. He had never told any of his children that before, and he saw the wonder in Albus's face when he said it. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#death

“Beds empty! No note! Car gone — could have crashed — out of my mind with worry — did you care? — never, as long as I’ve lived — you wait until your father gets home, we never had trouble like this from Bill or Charlie or Percy —" "Perfect Percy,” muttered Fred. “YOU COULD DO WITH TAKING A LEAF OUT OF PERCY’S BOOK!” yelled Mrs. Weasley, prodding a finger in Fred’s chest. “You could have died, you could have been seen, you could have lost your father his job —” It seemed to go on for hours. Mrs. Weasley had shouted herself hoarse before she turned on Harry, who backed away. “I’m very pleased to see you, Harry, dear,” she said. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#humor #humor

A succubus on the set. Strike that, the health-conscious kid sister made it two… succubuses. Succubusees? Succubi? Stupid Latin correspondence course. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#humor #lara-raith #humor

Nobody can be bad at everything. There’s no such thing as a perfect screwup. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#humor #humor

I have nightmares about hell, where all I do is add up numbers and try to have conversations with people like you. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#harry-dresden #humor #humor

I’ve had a tense couple of days. And I’ve got to tell you, burning someone’s face off sounds like a great way to relax. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#humor #humor