#harry

They heard the click of the mail slot and flop of letters on the doormat. "Get the mail, Dudley," said Uncle Vernon from behind his paper. "Make Harry get it." "Get the mail, Harry." "Make Dudley get it." "Poke him with your Smelting stick, Dudley. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#humor #humor

His eyes are as green as a fresh pickled toad, His hair is as dark as a blackboard. I wish he was mine, he's really divine, The hero who conquered the Dark Lord. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#humor #humor

I WILL NOT TOLERATE MENTION OF YOUR ABNORMALITY UNDER THIS ROOF! ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#harry-potter #humor #magic #humor

I still can't believe," Michael said, sotto voce, "that you came to the Vampires' Masquerade Ball dressed as a vampire. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#humor #michael-carpenter #humor

I let out a battle cry. Sure, a lot of people might have mistaken it for a sudden yelp of unmanly fear, but trust me. It was a battle cry. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#humor #humor

I'd made the vampire cry. Great. I felt like a real superhero. Harry Dresden, breaker of monsters' hearts. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#humor #women #humor

There you go, Harry!” Ron shouted over the noise. “You weren’t being thick after all — you were showing moral fiber! ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#humor #ron-weasley #humor

I was seducing shepherdesses when you weren't a twinkle in your great-grandcestor's eyes. I think I know what I'm doing. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#harry-dresden #humor #women #humor

Gruff,” I said, “I find myself largely clueless about why mortal women do what they do. It will take a wiser man than me to understand what’s in a fae woman’s mind. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#humor #women #humor

Rule number one of the wizarding business. Never let them see you sweat. People expect us to know things. It can be a big advantage. Don’t screw it up by looking like you’re as confused as everyone else. Bad for the image. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#harry-dresden #business