#harley

You don't buy a Harley with your mind, you buy it with your heart and your balls. ↗

— Robert Patrick

#buy #harley #heart #mind #you

We should date." I laughed, curled him into my arms, and kissed the soft spot underneath his earlobe. "You're going to have to go to obedience school for that to happen. You have authority issues." "Never mind. We should have sex again and then date." "Since you put it that way, okay. ↗

— Darynda Jones

#obedience-school #reyes-farrow #dating

Every night in my dreams, a man appeared from the darkest recesses of my mind, as if he'd been waiting for me to fall asleep. His mouth, full, masculine, would sear my flesh. His tongue, like flames across my skin, would send tiny sparks quaking through my body. Then he would dip south, and the heavens would open and a chorus singing hallelujah would ring out in perfect harmony. ↗

— Darynda Jones

#dream-guy #reyes #dreams

He'd been in surgery for-like-ever, then in recovery, but they put him in a room because, despite the amount of blood loss, his wounds were no longer life threatening. "You here to get in my pants?" he asked. "You're not wearing any pants," I reminded him. "You're wearing a girly gown with a built-in ass ventilator. ↗

— Darynda Jones

#charley-davidson #garrett-swopes #life

A split second later, my life flashed before my eyes, and I came to one important conclusion about it. It was fun while it lasted. ↗

— Darynda Jones

#life

Want coffee?" I asked, as I headed that way. "It's three thirty in the morning." "Okay. Want coffee? ↗

— Darynda Jones

#coffee #humor #humor

My calculations - allowing for a 12 percent margin of error, based on the radius of the corresponding confidence interval and the surgeon general's warning - concluded that they probably didn't stay behind for the tacos. ↗

— Darynda Jones

#dead-people #funny-humor #funny

Longevity-and sanity. Eccentric old ladies on Harleys I can deal with. ↗

— Alison Larkin

#genetics #harleys #life #longevity #old-ladies