#hai

Man, Grandma, what big hair you have." "The better to style with, my dear. ↗

— Neal Shusterman

#fairy-tales #funny #hair #red-riding-hood #funny

My facial hair is imperative. I put the must in mustache.
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— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #imperative #mustache #funny

Cleansing and clearing are two words which suit the essence of Imbolc, as this is February, the Roman month of purification. This can be a cleansing of the self, in undertaking a good ‘detox’, or a clearing and cleansing of the home, in keeping with the tradition of spring-cleaning. ↗

— Carole Carlton

#carole-carlton #imbolc #irish-celts #lughnasadh #moon-magic

I was hot so I gave myself a haircut. I then saw a bald man sweating, so I offered to tweeze his eyebrows. He accepted and was so grateful that he offered to trade mustaches with me. In remembrance of that special bonding moment, I still wear his mustache over my left nipple.
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— Jarod Kintz

#bald #baldness #bond #bonding #eyebrows

Look. Survey. Inspect. My hair is ruined! I look like a pan of bacon and eggs! ↗

— Diana Wynne Jones

#humor #vanity #humor

The expression in her eyes was bitter as nightshade. 'You ask me about regret? Let me tell you a few things about regret, my darling. There is no end to it. You cannot find the beginning of the chain that brought us from there to here. Should you regret the whole chain, and the air between, or each link separately, as if you could uncouple them? Do you regret the beginning which ended so badly, or just the ending itself? I've given more thought to this question than you can begin to imagine. ↗

— Janet Fitch

#daughter #ingrid #links #mother #regret

I'm telling you, the gorgeous of the world can actually look pretty intimidating when they scowl. Imagine a snow-white swan with a scary tattoo holding a chain saw. There's just no way to really prepare for that. ↗

— Jim Benton

#funny #scary #scowl #swan #tattoo

What a strange thing! to be alive beneath cherry blossoms. ↗

— Kobayashi Issa

#cherry-blossoms #haiku #japan #life #poetry

I want to create a seventeen-syllable word that encompasses the human condition, and then use that word to form the world’s most perfect haiku. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humanity #life #perfection #poetry #relationships

Geez, I wish I could tell you I had a whole bunch of '80s hair bands, you know something you really wouldn't expect, but I don't know that the music police would be that surprised, because most of the stuff that I am influenced by is in evidence in the music. ↗

— John Sebastian

#bands #because #bunch #could #evidence